January 30, 2013

Fearing an Executive Outcome

I had a strange sales lead today. A fellow I shall call Mr. X, for the sake of propriety. His company was noted as Executive Outcomes. Based in a small town in Texas, lest I impart too much information.

Executive Outcomes, if you will recall, was the notorious South African mercenary outfit who participated in some rather strident work in Angola and Sierra Leone, among other places. Ex-soldiers out of a job after apartheid ended. I can't speak for them or their work, other than to say they ultimately dissolved in 1998 under some intense international scrutiny.

And yet I have this guy's name and phone number on my desk. A distinctly Boer name. So I gave him a ring. He answered on the first ring with a gruff "What?" I introduced myself and stated the nature of my business. "You got the wrong place," he muttered, and hung up. I didn't even get to explain the incredible benefits of IP telephony.

Now this is consuming me. I'm going to call him back in two weeks with a completely different sales pitch. How's business? Hiring? How are the accommodations? I don't like bed lice. Is your next patron black or white? Corporate security or palace assault? Just curious.

I always block my number before a phone call. I don't think he can find me. But I reckon he just might, and I'd rather reach out and flunk an interview than check under my hood for the next three months. I stirred a fucking bloodletting Afrikaaner. Hiding in Texas. What are the odds?

The first thing I need to do is find out who slipped this my way. Because that ain't too cool.

Posted by Velociman at 7:35 PM | Comments (38)

January 8, 2013

The Line In The Sand

I'm not certain Obama is serious with his gun control initiative. It could be mere posturing, the eternal electioneering to appease his rabid base. On the other hand, he seems to believe he is a darchangel of sorts. He believes the stroke of his pen is of a covenant with his god. Whoever that Beelzebub is.

300 million guns. 100 million owners. Roughly. A third of the nation owns guns. And the Constitution did not admit a natural right to them for the purposes of shooting bunnies and squirrels. It is for the more stringent task of shooting tyrants, wherever they raise their heads. That's the whole point.

Does this guy think he can make 33 percent of the country criminals with a stroke of the pen? Well, he has extraconstitutional czars, signing statements, executive orders, and appointments without Senate advice and consent with no blowback. Why not? FDR drank four martinis and decided to see if he could pack the Supreme Court. Why wouldn't this guy mainline a bit of narcissism and see where it takes him? Even a failure brings no rebuke. Just a minor setback. He'll try again.

Dangerous times. This bastard reeks of Huey Long, and Hugo Chavez. I smell the sulphur.

Fortunately I am living in straitened times, and was forced to sell my weapons. In the parking lot at a gun show. To strangers. I now abide with a Louisville Slugger and a Lester Maddox pick axe handle he gave me in 1976. To the other hundred millions of you out there who do not wish to become a criminal upon the autopen stroke of a choom head I recommend an underground hidey hole. Throw some silver coins in there. Canned beans. A stripper if you must.

Because a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Posted by Velociman at 7:48 PM | Comments (48)

Wherein I Get My Comeuppance

I made a casual reference to Lobster Boy in a post 10 years ago. True to form, I finally received a comment from the sister of the then 17-year-old hitman Lobster Boy's family hired to whack him. I never mentioned Grady's murder, or the $1500 hitman, but what the hey. I suppose I am the enemy. From yet another Cohort of Crazy. I normally don't recycle comments, but here you go, without further comment:

This is my brother we are talking about here!Instead of commenting on something that happened in 1992 to a man that his own family wanted dead and his own daughter was happy when this happened Comment on a someone who really deserves the harsh comments! As for His story you have not heard!He was a young and dumb kid .He was 17 when he done it but this was planned.He Just turned 17 I speak to him every friday and he will be well off when he gets out!As for his up bringing how do u know i never even heard of you?He has no idea who the hell you are! We grew up poor and with a single mom so yea 2500 was alot of money then to a 16 almost 17yr old Dumb people do it everyday for free even older this dumb teenager!I had that "hard up bringing"and I am well off !As for Chris he has been there for 16yr this Nov and he will be out soon!I love you big bro see you soon!

Actually, I will comment further. I feel bad this kid did 20 years or whatever for shooting Lobster Boy. By my mysterious abacus killing a no good son of a bitch is an 18 month stint. Mostly to teach you a trade other than killin'. Say, rapin'. But as Johnny Mathis tells me in my dreams... it's not for me to say.

Posted by Velociman at 7:07 PM | Comments (45)