I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist. You've read that here before. The true conspiracies are the ones you never heard about. President McKinley was killed by an anarchist named Czolgosz, for instance. CZOLGOSZ! Do you think that guy wasn't an Imperial Commander from the planet Krypton, sent as a probe to check our resolve? Fools. You fret about birth certificates? I, for one, would like to exhume McKinley. See what manner of projectile actually slayed the man. Czolgosz, indeed.
I don't believe in the obvious conspiracies, you see. The ones they want you to hear about. I, for instance, believe JFK was assassinated by a crazed communist loner at the behest of the Mob, and Ted Kennedy had George Wallace shot in Laurel, Maryland. Just like everyone else. I'm mainstream like that.
Here's the thing, though. Rough people do rough stuff. Barack Obama is a rough guy. Not a tough guy, mind you. He wears mom jeans, rides a girl bike, and wears a bike helmet with a visor. You don't have a visor on your helmet unless you are crashing through serious underbrush dirt biking. Otherwise you're just protecting your nose from sunburn. Obama cannot throw a baseball like a guy, and he can't even sink a hoop shot. Obama Can't Jump. But he is a rough guy. He Knows People.
I'm not prepared to say what I believe he is going to pull for an October Surprise yet. You would think me daft. But hark! He doesn't play the tough guy well. He's tried it, and looks the pussy he is. Obama's strength lies in his ability to make you feel sorry for him. Wah. Wah. Wah. He's every mother's nightmare. Not the son who comes home with cuts and bruises and doesn't care to talk about them. The son who comes home with a little sliver in his finger, and need mommy to take it out and kiss his boo-boo and make it all right.
So Obama will not play the tough guy card. Syria, as I had earlier surmised, is off the table. Any foreign expedition is off the table. Obama, the guy in the mom jeans, the spastic kid who can't throw a fucking baseball, needs you to feel he is imperiled. He is in jeopardy. This creation of a sense of helplessness, this bleat for succor and need, is Obama's greatest strength. It shall be exploited.
The only other thing I'm going to say this early in the game is, if I'm Joe Biden or Eric Holder, and I value my brain pan, I'm not going to be within 2 statute miles of Barack Obama for the last 10 days of the campaign. Causes need martyrs, and omelettes need eggs. And no one on this planet, other than his kids and wife, would miss Joe Biden. That, that sea anchor that continually embarrasses our great Richelieu.
P.S. You realize heavy duty tin foil isn't twice as strong as regular tin foil. It's a completely different beast! Ten-fold power. Even Cylons can't penetrate that shit. My modest opinion.
Posted by Velociman at August 29, 2012 8:31 PM