Yes, I know. I promised myself I would embargo Jeopardy! for it's illiberal bias. And yet when I saw Thomas Friedman, The Most Brilliant Pundit In The Universe, and Anderson Cooper, The Most Brilliant Gay Cable Talk Show Host In The Universe, were on I Bostitched my little toes to the hardwood and forced myself to watch.
The Poop Thing? Well, as I said earlier in the week, I've only considered myself the winner if I knew the answer when the three contestants did not. That's a Poop. As in:
Normally I consider myself lucky to get two Poops a game. Three against very smart high schoolers. I got 12 damned Poops against these morons tonight. Thomas Friedman is not merely a vapid lockstep liberal. He is dumber than a bag of fucking hammers.
None of the contestants knew who Lord Nelson was, even when the clue said he died at Trafalgar! None knew Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin. Fuck all, I knew this stuff at nine, and I am a product of a pellagra-riddled Jim Crow South.
I forget the other 10 Poops, but they were equally dumbed down for these idiots. The scrunt in the middle who came in last? Don't know her. Plain, no tits, don't care. She was even stupider than the feather boyz.
The next time someone quotes a Thomas Friedman article I am going to that bag of hammers that is Friedman's brain, select a nice 16 ounce framing specimen, and claw their damned brain goo out. So help me God.
Oh, yeah. Thomas Friedman's house:
Posted by Velociman at May 18, 2012 8:02 PM
Not bad for 3,000 words a week of insane scribblings extolling the virtues of the Red Chinese political model.
P.S. Now that I think about it, I had 13 Poops today, the most meaningful of which occurred at approximately 6:35AM EDT, while reading Ace on my smartphone. Texture? Affirmative. Ease? Exemplary. Hue? A little Merlot-ish. But I'll bat .666 any day. And brag to you about it.