January 29, 2010
A Hobbesian World
I think my neighbor is having some issues with the local domesticated fauna:
I understand his wrath, as I have seen those chickens meandering about the yard. They were pretty damn good-looking chickens. But here's the thing: there aren't any leash laws out here. Most responsible people fence their dogs, but in my opinion it is unwise to raise free-range chickens where you have a known cohort of free-range dogs. Not to mention free-range raptors, coyotes, and varmints.
If you have chickens you have to have a coop for the beasties anyway, so adding a chicken run or even a chicken tractor is only a few more dollars. And wheeling the tractor around the yard makes the little buggers feel like they're free-ranging it. Much as our being able to drive from one state into another to purchase fireworks and liquor on Sundays anesthetizes us to the fact that as citizens we are, in truth, but kept creatures of the Mighty Integral.
As an aside, I'm sure one or two of these birds succumbed to vehicular traffic. They're always on the edge of the asphalt, extracting by peckification tiny grinding pebbles for their gizzards. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she's a stupid fucking brute, like most animals, with no sentience or comprehension of internal combustion devices. That's why.
P.S. I apologize for the poor quality of the picture. I took it on the fly as I was coming home. Because I have no idea if that sign represents an all-inclusive list of things that will be shot by this dude, or if he deems his efforts scalable.
Kinda reminds me of the time my Brother-in-Law's black Lab killed my little sister's pet white leghorn hen. Really couldn't blame the dog since he didn't have a soft mouth. Anyway, six months later or so the Lab became road kill. It was that point I began to believe in reincarnation. I truely believe that sweet little hen came back in the form of the white Lincoln Continental that did the dog in. Avian retribution.
Posted by: Tbird at January 29, 2010 7:56 PMUrban fowl have a tough go without the proper advocates.
The asshole drunk down the road used to derive great pleasure from scattering some old widow woman's guineas with his half ton Ford while inbound from the third shift and the beer joint.
That is until she slashed all four Buckshots, filled the gas tank with sand, and stuck a Belgium Browning in his grill when he appeared on the front porch to take issue with how she revenged her flattened Guinea fowl.
Posted by: bitterman at January 29, 2010 8:53 PMIf he's a smart neighbor he will take the collars off the dead pooches before rolling them into the furrow.
Posted by: dr kill at January 29, 2010 9:04 PMDoes the sign mean a chicken that kills dogs, or dogs that kill chickens?
Posted by: Cappy at January 29, 2010 9:33 PMQ. Why did the punk-rocker cross the road?
A. Cause he was stapled to the damn chicken.
Good thing you only slowed down for that picture, amigo. Wouldn't want you ingesting lead gizzard-pellets served a-la Remington.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Q. Why did the punk-rocker cross the road?
A. Cause he was stapled to the damn chicken.
Good thing you only slowed down for that picture, amigo. Wouldn't want you ingesting lead gizzard-pellets served a-la Remington.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Q. Why did the punk-rocker cross the road?
A. Cause he was stapled to the damn chicken.
Good thing you only slowed down for that picture, amigo. Wouldn't want you ingesting lead gizzard-pellets served a-la Remington.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Some years ago my neighbor, Fred, informed me that he thought my cat was raising caine in his back yard. And if it didn't stop, he'd shoot the cat. I told him that there were any number of critters that would dig for any number of reasons, moles, coyotes, raccoons, 'possums and fifteen other neighbor cats. If the cat that lived at my house came to harm I would be mightily pissed off as would my son who was just coming on his thirteenth summer, and was possessed of a vengeful nature, an imagination and a cadre of like minded young vandals with insufficient supervised activities. I also suggested that he take into consideration he couldn't be home 24/7 and if he could he still had to sleep eventually. The cat war stopped right then and there. I finally found what the problem was. A sow raccoon and her kits had found an area in his rose plot that was alive with juicy, tasty night crawlers. All that Summer mama 'coon and her babies kept that ten x ten plot well plowed. Fred decided to live with it. It seems Fred also received brochures from the city and the county detailing the penalties for firing inside city limits as well as for harassing certain pets and indiginous fauna. On that list are most birds, raccoons, coyotes, non-feral cats, moles, and a local critter I've never met formally, the mountain beaver. I've seen his front door, kitchen middens and tracks, but we've never been introduced. He's a quiet little guy and keeps to himself. Nice kind of neighbor. He does like him some night crawlers, though.
Gerry N.
Posted by: Gerry N. at January 30, 2010 1:35 AMI would bet on "scalable".
Posted by: Yabu at January 30, 2010 8:06 AMI've had to send many a critter who took an unhealthy interest in my chiknz home to valhalla, but dogs haven't made the list.
Coyotes, OTOH...
Posted by: apotheosis at January 30, 2010 1:28 PMYa gotta remember that some people loves their
chickens...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcEbozgpI0o
A good dog needs a healthy meal of beef. Screw that barnyard pimp.
Posted by: dick at January 31, 2010 10:40 AMIf the neighbor's dogs became an issue with the flock, they'd be dispatched. I wouldn't **announce** it thusly though.
Then again our chickens don't free-range, and plans to increase their range include plans for dog (and select other varmint) proof fencing.
I've dispatched a completely flabbergasting number of skunks this winter, together with a handful of raccoons. The coyotes are a different issue. I haven't figured out how to thin their numbers without staying awake all night with a night-vision scope.
The mountain lions are a *whole*-nother thing...
Posted by: Desert Cat at January 31, 2010 11:47 PMSimple:
Shoot; Shovel; Shut-up
Success!!!
Posted by: libsarenavelint at February 8, 2010 4:54 PM