Those of a certain age will recall hours watching Let's Make a Deal as a child. Well, if not watching it directly, absorbing it in the background.
One of the fundamental constructs of the show was for Monty Hall to present the contestant with a fairly good prize, like a pair of minibikes, revealed behind Door Number 1. There was usually a booby prize behind another door, and there was a fucking awesommus prize behind a third door. The contestant just did not know which of the remaining two doors held the awesummus. That's when Monty would play to the contestant's greed.
Now: take the pair of minibikes, which is yours right now! Or go for broke and try to guess which door hides the king hell trip to Switzerland!
You can't con a person who ain't greedy in the first place, they say. And you can't buy off an American hausfrau swaddled in velour with a pair of farfuckity minibikes. As a child of six or eight or twelve I must confess I enjoyed the schadenfreude, watching a greedhead go down, and unwisely pick the booby prize. It was often a pair of goats, or a balsa wood gin-rickshaw, or something equally designed to let the contestant know, in no uncertain terms, that their greed had fucked them all up.
I look today at the people who voted for Obama, and wonder: how does it feel to buy a pig in a poke, and have it blow up in your face? You could have had a crusty old Arizonan. Not much to look at, but at least as exciting as a brace of minibikes. And minibikes are fun!
But no: you had to go for the trip to Switzerland. Not predicated on knowing it was behind Door Number 3, but because you hoped it was behind Door Number 3.
Now you want to blame the rest of us for not talking you into taking the minibikes. Because now you're stuck with a pair of goats, and they're already crapping on the floor.
You can't con a person who ain't greedy in the first place. And I am enjoying watching you hausfraus and bone heads writhe in your velour sad rags, sweeping up after the goats.
I wonder if there's money to be made in velour straightjackets? I sense an uptick in that market.
Posted by Velociman at January 24, 2010 10:02 PM