If Congress really feels the need to find something constructive to do with itself, it could start by banning all scenes of childbirth in cinema or the televisuals. There are any number of aesthetic reasons for this ban, however in its simplest form it boils down to:
Who the fuck wants to watch this shit?
It's bad enough when one's own child is being born, but at least you've got skin in the game. What primordial sense of masochism could possibly induce me to watch someone else's child being squirted out in brutish degradation? I'd as soon watch someone take a damned defecation. Well, at least someone on a healthy diet, so it's not painful. If I wanted to see pain and torture I could watch al-Qaeda videos.
Here's another thing: male actors never have to do the childbirth scene. Every actress has to do a childbirth rendition at some point in the parabolic arc of their whorish, demeaning careers in the stage crafts. It almost doesn't seem fair.
Do you know what I like when I watch film or hypnobox? Escape. Fantasy. Something that momentarily allows me to forget that I share 99% of my chromosomes with filthy rodents and armadillos. Amazingly, watching childbirth doesn't do that for me.
Here's a video of a woman experiencing premeditated orgasm during childbirth:
I'm crying bullshit on that one. I think she was merely passing a fart, which can certainly be orgasmic in the right setting, like that hot tub.
As an aside, I was quite perturbed by the number of guys who posted video on YouTube of their wives giving birth. Fuck, dudes. Your wife's pussy looks like the dog's face splitting open in The Thing. You should probably keep that to yourself.
Oh! Hey! Here it is!
Yeah. That's what it looked like. Thank you for sharing, and we'll keep the light on.
Posted by Velociman at January 23, 2010 8:00 PM