November 12, 2009
Fortuna Spins Her Wheel
I am constantly on the lookout for signs and omens; those little tells that signify one ain't right with the gods. For instance:
I lost a huge tree in a storm two nights ago. It fell across the street, blocking it, and severed two power lines, engulfing the area in darkness. Other than the loss of power I was okay with it, as my driveway leads out in the other direction. My neighbors on the other side were blocked in, however, and within minutes I heard the grinding of chainsaws. Several of my proximity-humans had their pickup truck lights trained on the fallen tree, and were clearing the road.
I stood on the porch in my bathrobe, sheltered from the driving rain, sipping a goblet of wine and observing their efforts. I would have thrown on some jeans and offered to help, but I sensed that they were in high dudgeon with me. They were also holding functional chainsaws. Why take a chance?
Then this morning on the way to work I hit a bull-sized buck. It's rutting season, and the deer are all over the roads, insane. Although I had both feet planted on the brake pedal I still hit the thing at about 35 miles per hour, and sent him flying across the other lane of traffic into the ditch. Two hundred pounds of antlered whirlygig. I don't want to appear callous, but it was pretty fucking awesome. Like a Pink Floyd concert or something.
I pulled over at the first side street and inspected the car. I was in the work ride, the old Lumina. The Beater. It didn't have a scratch on it. Not sure about the deer at that point. As I was in the county vehicle I didn't have my pistol to deliver a humanitarian coup de grace, nor was I in the mood to listen to plaintive bleating I could not assuage. I went back later and it was gone. Most people around here won't throw road kill in the back of the truck unless they hit it themselves, and are reasonably certain they haven't busted its gut, so I doubt it was the victim of an opportunity harvesting. And I'd knocked it into a deep ditch, where it wouldn't have been seen at that dark-thirty hour anyway. I think it just walked off the pain and went hunting some more ginch.
I'm not sure if that is a good omen, or if it bodes ill for me. But like the fallen tree, it augers something.
Oh, yes: I also hit two squirrels at lunch, and a skunk on the way home. At the very least my formerly simpatico relationship with Gaia is obviously on the ropes. I worry about the trees, mostly. You never see those bastards coming.
Yeah, I ran over two tree rats in one day. Best fucking day of my life!
Posted by: Gavrillo Princip at November 12, 2009 7:02 PMWow, glad I wasn't out walking my dog this morning anywhere near you!
Posted by: Les at November 12, 2009 7:29 PMYeah, the new place in Chucktown is ringed by stately maples and oaks. I don't trust 'em.
On the plus side, nary a pine tree to dribble sap on the cars. I just need to figure out how to get acorns outta the windshield grill.
.
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at November 12, 2009 7:53 PMIf the deer survived that "awesome" blow from a truck and then got up and walked away, it means that the country will survive Obama's beater truck of an administration.
How I read it, anyway.
Posted by: dicentra at November 12, 2009 9:02 PMTree rats deserve to be introduced to Charles Goodyear's finest, up close and personal. I hate those pests with a passion that approximates my disdain for the Teleprompter Messiah.
Posted by: Grumpy Old Ham at November 12, 2009 10:06 PMSomething has obviously put you in a killing mood, conscious or not. Perhaps you are as pissed as I about the whole Ft. Hood affair and just don't have access to Achmed.
Posted by: Cocklebur at November 12, 2009 11:09 PMWell damn...
You bring hell upon wildlife.
Are ya sure ya don't mean "augurs" something rather than "augers" something? There is a difference.
Gerry N.
Posted by: Gerry N. at November 13, 2009 12:02 AMBrrrr...trees.
Had a 115 year old hemlock come down on my place three years ago. Cleaved it clean in two. Landed right across the bed in the master suite. When it starts blowing hard around here I am gone.
Brrrr...trees.
Had a 115 year old hemlock come down on my place three years ago. Cleaved it clean in two. Landed right across the bed in the master suite. When it starts blowing hard around here I am gone.
Since it is a beater you drive, perhaps little stickers on the side to advertise your prowess as DMV killin' machine. Five on the side would make you a wildlife ace.
Posted by: Guaman at November 13, 2009 3:22 AMHere you go, VMan ... some tree fun from byootiful Bellingham. Big trees and wind are fun. Power lines add a nice touch. Trees and wind AND rain make for excitement and serendipitous firewood.
Posted by: PeggyU at November 13, 2009 4:39 AMOh, yeah! The link :)
Posted by: PeggyU at November 13, 2009 4:41 AMI aim for squirrels every time I have the opportunity. Friend of mine had an encounter with a big buck the other day...she can't stop talking about him...totaled her ride.
Posted by: Yabu at November 13, 2009 10:26 AMAnd that's what we reap from your East Coast education? To wit: you copping to actually owning a Lumina. Un-to wit. Damn dude. Have you no shame?
Shoulda been at the head of the line for that whack clunkers thing.
Posted by: bitterman at November 13, 2009 12:18 PMBitterman,
I don't own the Lumina. It is provided transportation for my job, which is a good thing when the roebucks are cavorting. I also went from puttng 18,000 miles a year on my Blazer to 1,200.
Posted by: Velociman at November 13, 2009 12:30 PM200 lb Whitetail is a hell of a deer.
Posted by: dr kill at November 13, 2009 2:03 PMDude, glad you're ok. But that many wild animals? You're aiming aren't you? I won't tell.
Posted by: Obstreperous Infidel at November 13, 2009 9:22 PMLast night around 6:15 I was driving home and was on the on-ramp in a well-populated part of town when about 30 ft. in front of me a large doe was bounding across the lane and over the guardrail, into the steep thicket and the night.
I figured your blog post set me up the juju. Geeze!
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at November 14, 2009 2:40 PMAnd a skunk even.
I haven't run any critters over lately, but the plague of skunks on my property continues unabated. I've lost count...
Posted by: Desert Cat at November 16, 2009 9:42 AM