September 21, 2009
Après Moi, le Déluge
Rains of Biblical proportions have punished my stomping grounds for days. Automobiles, toddlers, and pedestrians have been swept away, sucked into the great maw of the swollen rivers.
In light of such calamity and grievous loss of life, I should be ashamed that my concern is over a mere two inches of water in the basement. But my library is down there. I have first editions imperiled in that bilge! And a hot date with typhoid.
Girded for battle with wet vac, CamelBak of wine, and cigarette pack lashed to my baseball cap like a Vietnam grunt, I wade into the har o' darkness with the words of Travis Bickle in my ears:
Some day a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.
My fear, of course, is that I'm that scum. I've seen signs to that effect, everywhere.
Sugar for sugar and salt for salt..
If you go down in the flood gonna be your fault...
No flipping a switch hooked up to the sump pump in a convenient hole in the floor?
My dear sir...
Been working from home a lot lately so when I crossed over the Hooch on the way into the office this afternoon, I was amazed. Haven't seen that much brown water since Dax's Sunday morning bathroom escapade a few Helen's back.
If you ask me, that Man-made Global Warming shit is to blame for all this rain. And to think that just last year we were suffering from a drought. Which was, as I recall, also caused by Man-made Global Warming. Go figure.
Posted by: zonker at September 21, 2009 10:52 PMBooks in a basement? What the Hell, man? This is still the Deep South, where all the basements are mouldy, all the trees are mossy, and all the air is as damp as a prom queen's panties. Or is it the prom queen who is mossy? I get confused.
Whatever, get those storage vac-packs and seal up those books!
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at September 22, 2009 12:02 AMFer chrissakes, build that ark you've been talking about!
Until then, get your waders out.
Sorry for your predicament, buddy.
Posted by: Tamara at September 22, 2009 1:20 AMHey, it could be worse. Pictures from my home town show the river cleaning out the water reclamation plant...that could be floating around in your basement.
And it is definitely from the man-made global warming...or from Sonny praying for rain. I wonder if Alabama and Florida were serious about wanting all of our water?
Posted by: Cody Pless at September 22, 2009 8:54 AMSounds like it's time to send in Team Bluegill!
Don't forget to take plenty of bourbon.
Posted by: Mockingbird at September 22, 2009 11:10 AMOh, please be careful. The pictures they show on the news here look very bad.
BUT -- never fear, Jim Cantore from the Weather Channel is there. So, all will be well. He is so cute! Oh, sorry, back to the hope you all are safe and it stops raining part.
Posted by: Kath at September 22, 2009 6:17 PMIt's certainly been interesting. One of the two roads into my subdivision (they both lead around a pair of lakes) is closed from a cave-in. I live pretty high up so don't have to worry about anything but my neighbor's house sliding down into the yard along with their sediment.
School's been out all week which is certainly nice for business but then again any kind of disaster is good for my business. Bring on the fucking rain! Perhaps I can retire early.
Posted by: Richard at September 22, 2009 8:02 PMA hot date with typhoid? What would Mr. O'Brien say?
Posted by: Cappy at September 22, 2009 9:02 PMThere is nothing more loathsome than flood water, a pestilential soup of miscellaneous turds, dead dogs, filth, insects, and toxic household chemicals. I wish you luck and success in removing it from your Subterranean Library.
A couple of days ago, I could've sworn I was back in Houston, where that city's minimal elevation above sea level ensures serious floods will follow a heavy dew. Bejus.
Where's Moses and Jesus, anyway, now that we need 'em? Moses could part the Brown Sea, and Jesus could promenade atop it in order to reskie the trailer-dwellers...
Posted by: Elisson at September 23, 2009 4:20 PMAll that water and Denny leaves town to go diving?
Posted by: PeggyU at September 23, 2009 9:16 PMI don't think you are scum Velocidude, skank maybe, but not scum.
Posted by: Cocklebur at September 24, 2009 1:24 PMRain is great for two things, sleeping and fucking, Cat
Posted by: catfish at September 24, 2009 4:13 PMCatfish: Well, then, you don't want to live where I do because you won't get anything accomplished. It does rain more than its fair share here.
Posted by: PeggyU at September 27, 2009 1:37 AM