September 9, 2009
Tanning Baby
Stories like this reaffirm my belief in the human race:
Ever wonder what elected officials talk to each other about before committee hearings?Apparently in Sacramento, it’s about spanking their mistresses. At least that’s the case for California Assemblyman Mike Duvall.
A Republican from Yorba Linda, Duvall bragged to a colleague about his extramarital affairs with not one, but two mistresses during a televised Assembly Appropriations Committee hearing in July. He did not realize his microphone was on.
“So, I am getting into spanking her,” he said in the video aired by Los Angeles TV station KCAL Tuesday night. “Yeah, I like it. I like spanking her. She goes, ‘I know you like spanking me.’ I said, ‘Yeah! Because you’re such a bad girl!’” The 54-year-old assemblyman, who is married with two children, also said his mistress “wears eye-patch underwear” and joked about their age difference.
Those quotes from Duvall are some of the less-graphic ones from the conversation. Others could not be printed in this publication.
That's what I'm talkin' about. Two mistresses, taking the tawse. This guy's a regular Lash Larrup.
The juicy chit chat provides a distraction for California lawmakers as they try to pass weighty legislation, such as a water and prison bills, before the session ends Friday. It also raises ethical questions because Duvall sits on the Utility and Commerce committee, and his trysts were allegedly with a lobbyist from Sempra Energy, according to the OC Weekly. A representative from Sempra Energy said the company was preparing to issue a statement later today.
A lobbyist! That's taking one for the team, girls. In the olden days a lobbyist just had to pay for the girls what was to be whomped. Now an ambitious young woman in the persuasion industry must spend dozens of hours a month in the gym for the privilege of humiliation at the hands of some middle-aged sub-dom sadist, who is asserting his manhood by dint of his authority as a fucking Assemblyman. Why, that title is near as noble as Caesar.
I can't really blame the guy, of course. She was probably stickin' that fine, apple-shaped ass in his face. This part sickened me, though:
Duvall announced his immediate resignation from the Assembly this afternoon. “I am deeply saddened that my inappropriate comments have become a major distraction for my colleagues in the Assembly, who are working hard on the very serious problems facing our state,” he said in a statement. “I have come to the conclusion that it would not be fair to my family, my constituents or to my friends on both sides of the aisle to remain in office. Therefore, I have decided to resign my office, effective immediately, so that the Assembly can get back to work.”
Pussy. He should have fought it out. I'd wager 51% of the electorate are thinking Crazy fucker, but he's got balls. I admire that in an assemblyman.
Ah, well. I have no idea what I, personally, can do for Sempra Energy, or what they can do for me, but I've placed a call. When it comes to hiring, I like the cut of their jib.
I was comforted by the fact the assemblyman was identified as a Republican by the fourth sentence, by the way. If he'd been a Democrat we'd be questioning his party affiliation for months. Or at least until the soon-to-be-ex-Mrs. Duvall's cri-de-coeur tell-all book, That Cocksucker Wronged Me, hits the stands just in time for Christmas. Posted by Velociman at September 9, 2009 5:45 PM | TrackBack
Bwahahahah!!! Problem is, 51% doesn't win anymore.
Posted by: Sam at September 9, 2009 7:09 PMI wonder how much of his wife's money dumbnuts spent to get elected.
Posted by: Mickysolo at September 9, 2009 7:27 PMWell, in lieu of an update on the lovely Key, I guess this post is a bit of a harbinger of normalcy?
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at September 9, 2009 7:58 PMI'm with Joan. Give us an update if you would.
Posted by: dick at September 9, 2009 9:12 PMDid ya see a picture of the guy? It's on the front of today's Sacramento Bee. I don't know how he got one mistress, let alone two! I agree, he shouldn't have resigned.
Posted by: vicki at September 9, 2009 11:03 PMLOL! I know it's a company moniker, but Sempra Energy does sound kind of like a ho name.
Posted by: PeggyU at September 10, 2009 1:42 AMGood Lord -- what a freaking stoopid douchebag! Why doesn't it surprise me that he's from Snoba Linda (next town over from where I currently reside)-- the 'Land of Gracious Living'? YL is all about [pretentious] conservative family values blah blah ad nauseum. I know you love that thing about absolute power corrupting -- how about 'a little bit of (perceived) power results in niggling, petty, pussified stupid-frat-boy venality" or something along that line? How do you not know that your mic is live? Bah. Did I stress stupid? No wonder this state is in such a mess -- if we're electing this kind of moron (of whatever party affiliation) to take care of business! Figures he's an insurance salesman.
So this post does indicate that Key is doing better, yes? Go take her a nice cup of tea & fluff her pillows & tell her we're all asking after her.
Brilliant post, as always -- even if you're hitting a little close to home here!
Yeah, just an assemblyman, not much of a title. Now if he were a Senator on the other hand, who knows what he might have done...
Posted by: rob sama at September 10, 2009 10:59 AMSo this morning he's claiming that his resignation is not an admission of his having affairs -- he's only guilty of "inappropriate story telling". So Junior high locker room. Jerk.
Posted by: Marianne at September 10, 2009 11:46 AMThe crowning touch on their public stupidity is that they haven't learned from all the other idiots that went before them ... if caught red handed, confess and apologize - then STFU!!! That moron Sanford is still running off at the mouth.
Posted by: PeggyU at September 10, 2009 12:36 PMRe-register as a Democrat, and this all goes away. What was he thinking?
Posted by: james wilson at September 10, 2009 12:51 PMAm I the only bumpkin who has no idea what "eye patch underwear" is?
I concur with the rest of your posters - my best to Key and I hope she is healing well. Sounds like she was in a great place, if any such exists, for something like that to happen.
Posted by: teresa at September 11, 2009 11:49 AM