June 23, 2009
Another Mysterious AWOL Solved
Forgive me for pulling a Mark Sanford and disappearing without a trace. I've been at a conference at Callaway Gardens.
Like Sanford, I hiked some trails, him on the AT, me on Pine Mountain, which is in fact the utter last hobnail in the bootheel of the Appalachians. Unlike him, I'm pretty certain I haven't done anything sinister or shameful, whatever it was he did. Rule of thumb: iffen your own wife don't know where you are or what the fuck you're doing, odds are it's something you wouldn't want your mama or your constituents to see you doing. I'm wagering it was something like a bottle of Old Grand Dad and a pair of ten year old black and white boys. Salt N Peppa!
I tell you, if you're into the botanical or horticultural thing, or natural philosophy in general, Callaway is a state treasure. Absolutely stunning. But I must take umbrage at the scheduling of this event in 96 degree sweltering heat. Even the skeeters were gasping. You can tell it's hot in Georgia when a dog's balls lick his face. Just for the moisture, you see. Never mind.
Curious to see what comes out of that DC Metro crash. In these cases it's a sure thing that 1) somebody fucked up, or 2) somebody fucked up. As in 1) engineer, or 2) dispatcher. Not really sure how Metro trips their switches, or if the first train was even in a siding. But somebody fucked up. Such a pity.
Putting the last touches on getting the novel print-ready. It will be self-published, just so I can flog it hard and move the fuck on. More on that later.
Did I mention how fucking hot it is in Georgia? I'd better post this, as my balls are looking at me funny.
UPDATE: Ouch. This woman, if ever revealed, could be the most famous Argentinian since Fanne Foxe. I also thought it was amusing that Sanford 1) spoke for quite a while until mentioning the extracurricular nature of his trip, and 2) spoke of "a person in Argentina" with whom he'd had an affair for ever and ever before finally mentioning it was, in fact, a female.
Even so, he's fucked forever. Not for the affair. For crying about it on television. Hasta la vista, Casa Blanca.
Your balls are looking at you? With what - their eyeballs or their ball eyes?
The novel really exists?! :D I thought you were just ruminating! So what format will it take? Online novel? Pay to take a peek, then make like Michael Crichton and put the breaks where the action peaks ... then charge more to read the rest? That's what you're going to do, isn't it?
Where do we sign up to pre-order????
Posted by: Marianne at June 24, 2009 3:31 AMWhen I was young rightboy, I went to Callaway Gardens several times...saw the Flying High Circus troupe from Florida State University doing their extracurricular thing...very cool. Went off the high trapeze and landed in a big ass net...very very cool.
Posted by: Sam at June 24, 2009 6:57 AMStanford update: He was in Argentina. Argentina?
Metro crash: Texting.
Posted by: vanderleun at June 24, 2009 10:02 AMYeah, Sammy, we got a private showing of the FSU circus last night. I need one of those trapezy things in my bedroom.
Posted by: Velociman at June 24, 2009 10:16 AMNext time you're in the neighborhood, check out Sprewell Bluff State Park on the Flint River in the Pine Mountain Range.
www.gastateparks.org/net/go/parks.aspx?LocationID=66&s=0.0.1.5"
Beautiful, you wouldn't expect find something like that in Middle Georgia.
Vman, I have an extra one in my guest bedroom I'll let you have on consignment.
Posted by: Sam at June 24, 2009 1:31 PMV man, a sure way to add to the festivities would be to fasten the trapeeze to the ceiling fan.
All the more fun if it's one of those new-fangled fans with a remote control.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Oh gawd, just thinking about Vman, a ceiling fan and a swing is enough to make me laugh!
Posted by: Michele at June 24, 2009 5:47 PM'Even so, he's fucked forever. Not for the affair. For crying about it on television.'
Thank you. That is the way I see it, too.
I guess when a person gets old, like I am, who is boinking who doesn't really matter in the long run. Americans are so moralist when it comes to other people's sex lives.
I'm a fan from a few years back...had I known you were in my hometown of Pine Mtn., I'd have baked you a pound cake. Glad you enjoyed your visit. It was hot for us natives, too. Pine Mountain Trail is our best kept secret. Come back and visit often, VMan!
Tamara
At least Bill Clinton had the decency (!) to stay in the Oval Office while he was getting sucked off, not running to the other end of the hemisphere without anyone having Idea One as to how to contact him while his ship of state sailed, captainless, into heavy seas.
What an asshole. "I cried for five days in Argentina." Yeah, at the idea that he would have to go home and face a pissed-off electorate and a furious wife. Don't cry for me in Argentina.
I smell Broadway Musical material. Or is that shit I smell? Same thing.
Posted by: Elisson at June 25, 2009 5:49 PM