June 17, 2009

The Man Who Wouldn't Go Away

It seems John Edwards has managed to foist himself back into the public's sensibilities. Not because the pompous buffoon has anything to say, of course, but because he is a safe enough gambit for the Zombie Media to embrace in lieu of 1) investigating the magniloquent machinations of the Current Administration, or 2) mentioning a Republican without a photograph of one with a penis in his mouth.

Speaking of which, I cannot look upon Edwards without thinking of Camille Paglia, because she was one of the few people who actually enthusiastically endorsed this ridiculous Hollow Man. In a way I can see it, because Paglia is a lesbian, and by my reckoning only gays and teenaged girls could ever possibly envision John Edwards as qualified for anything more manly than South Beach on-location reporter for Tiger Beat magazine. Or glory hole recipient.

Paglia has always annoyed me just a bit. Not because she isn't intelligent, which she is, but because she is the mirror image of the Brooksian, Gergenian, Sullivanserai conservative: the liberal conservatives krush gruve over merely because she strays off the plantation once in a blue cheese moon. That may well be, but the bottom line is she was an unabashed John Edwards fangirl before she eventually got gill-hooked by Obama. And that sad fact is Exhibit A in the "You Can't Take This Person Seriously" playbook your Velociboy furiously scribbles in every night, just before he whistles himself to sleep with a melancholy rendition of Taps.

Posted by Velociman at June 17, 2009 9:50 PM | TrackBack

"gill-hooked by Obama"

great phrase, I might just steal that one...

Posted by: doubletrouble at June 17, 2009 10:38 PM

magniloquent machinations

Furiously scribbling in my playbook. . .


Marvelously mellifluous!


Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at June 18, 2009 12:02 AM

I have to admit a passing crush on Paglia from time to time, but you are right that it is often only because she is willing to stray so far from the Plantation from time to time. Which is still some credit to her, given how lockstep most on her side tend to be.

Posted by: Desert Cat at June 18, 2009 1:00 AM

And just how is 'whistles himself to sleep with a melancholy rendition of Taps' working for ya?? *L* I take it you don't eat crackers before going to bed?

Posted by: Michele at June 18, 2009 12:41 PM

He seems to have that effect on a lot of women. Lady a friend introduced me to early in the last election cycle had a thing for him; when I pointed out he was a jerk and a slimy-level trial lawyer her response was "But that voice..."

Yes, I did exit. I do have standards; they're low, but they're mine.

Posted by: Firehand at June 18, 2009 11:00 PM

The sad part of John Edwards being in the news that that more than half the population couldn't tell you who the hell he is or for what the hell he's in the news.

The saddest part of it is that a full 4/5ths of the population has no fucking idea that a tyrant has aimed a fucking missile at us.

Talk about fireworks.

I'm waiting on the show wherein Jay Leno does his famous 'Jay Walk' bit and gets serious for just a minute, asking questions such as:

"Which Presidential candidate was caught sneaking into and out of his mistress' hotel room?"

"Which Presidential candidate started his political career by having all of his opponents disqualified and removed from the ticket?"

"Which small country's leader just threatened to launch a missile at the state of Hawaii in celebration of Independence Day?"

When the moron on the street fails to answer even one of the questions correctly, Jay will lose it and pummel the schmuck into a bloody grist whilst screaming repeatedly "Wake the fuck up, America!"

Posted by: jmflynny at June 18, 2009 11:46 PM

Paglia is the hip lesbian that Republicans claim to like because she is at times critical of the left. Face it, she is really as odd as they are. Don't believe me? Check the last thing she wrote and ask yourself if she is as self-absorbed and weird as I assert. Besides, her reproductive market value is zero.

Posted by: Boogliodemus at June 21, 2009 10:52 AM
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