April 15, 2009
Cosmos Diabolicus
When one is met with insuperable aggression one is allowed in certain circumstances to raise one's hands to God in supplication, and invoke His Judgment. Tea Parties notwithstanding, I'm rather certain the only escape for us believers in these heady days of brute belligerence by the Demigod is a rain of plagues. Biblical stuff.
I honestly do not normally wish any ill upon my fellow man, even the most intolerable and intolerant of them. And they are legion. However of late I've been indulging in the fantasy of a plague of boils, to torment those who would act against my best and highest needs and wants. Frog, hail, pestilence nor locust are as diabolically beautiful as a hearty case of the incurable boils, I always say. One may hide from the external plagues. Boils, like de Beers products, are forever.
I certainly believe a thriving case of the pustulence upon the current administration would at the very least distract them from their mission of destruction of our capitalist way of life. Respite is my only cry.
Boils it is. I foresee it. And when the Commandeer-in-Chief has "several small lesions" removed from his face at Bethesda, small news indeed to the unknowing, know ye what that portends.
And lest you consider me blasphemous for requesting this selfish personal curse, rest assured I am not.
I'm demanding it.
Of course, sometimes these things backfire. So I'll be examining my naked self in the shower for the next few weeks in case of an unexpected outbreak of hubris furunculus. And unlike the furtive, clandestine denizens of 1600, I'll post pictures of my findings.
We anxiously await either outcome.
of course, those protruberances on the side of his head may already be boils. Even the cruellest of creators would not endow a real human with ears that outlandish.
But then, you got Girth Vader, so it's only fair.
Posted by: og at April 15, 2009 10:53 PMI believe I started the Apocalypse clock a couple of weeks of ago.
False Messiah....check
One World Order...check
Now here you are, queuing up the boils and locusts.
You know...I'm not really in any big hurry to meet with the sword quite yet, thank you.
I hope you had a great birthday.
Posted by: jmflynny at April 15, 2009 10:54 PMCommandeer-in-Chief. I love it.
Posted by: Arcs at April 16, 2009 8:33 AMThanks for the heads-up, Chief. I'll preparing by painting my front door frame with sheep's blood. My neighbors should understand, you think? If not, hey, you can't save 'em all.
Posted by: bustoff at April 16, 2009 12:09 PMCommandeer-in-Chief. That is a good one. I also saw a reference to Commander-and-Thief the other day.
Posted by: PeggyU at April 16, 2009 12:24 PMYou do realize, Velociworld Guy, that by invoking a desire for plagues, the DHS can accuse you of plotting biological warfare, especially since you belong, ideologically, to that broad swath (i.e., almost half the U.S. population) that its recent directive on "Right Wing Extremism" defines as potentially dangerous and subversive.
When at such time that DHS offers substantial rewards for turning in "extremists," I may be corrupted into accepting such a bribe -- although it will consist of the Monopoly money that now fuels the federal engine.
Also, will smearing our doorways with lamb's blood protect us fellow-travelers? Will God and the plagues he sends be faked out by red acrylic paint used by the squeamish among us?
Posted by: Roderick Reilly at April 16, 2009 2:48 PMI'd rather God smite their tired lying asses with napalm and willy pete, but that's just me.
Posted by: Dick at April 16, 2009 4:31 PMNay, Dick. When smiting another with suffering and misery, it's all about the poetry.
Posted by: Velociman at April 16, 2009 8:31 PMHere we go:
"he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods in their secret parts."
-- 1 Sam. 5:9
Posted by: dicentra at April 17, 2009 1:43 AMSo that's gonna be your excuse for taking so long in the shower, eh?
Posted by: Michele at April 17, 2009 12:29 PMPretty timely posting, just at the back end of Passover.
Well, time to wander around the desert for 40 years.
Posted by: Cappy at April 17, 2009 5:55 PMYou remind me of one of my favorite words - and an apt nickname for the carpet knight!
"Bubo" - as in the swollen lymph node from bubonic plague.
It makes me sneer, it does.
Posted by: LauraB at April 17, 2009 7:06 PMhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55dHN-0NAaE
Posted by: Gavrillo Princip at April 17, 2009 8:24 PMLather. Rinse. Repent.
Posted by: Anna - Primal Purge at April 18, 2009 5:44 AMBe you a sinner or a saint
You ain't immune from the Warhead (Taint).
And you will wish that you were dead
When that li'l fucker comes to a head.
At the risk of coming off as "a sycophant of Dick's", I happen to like, nay I can see a strange savage poetry in the artful application of napalm. Where as Dick's "better living through chemistry" strikes a cord, so does V-man's paternatural preference for a more traditional resolution to that which brings ones blood pressure to levels here to fore unknown.
In short, I could live with seeing either or both (in this case there is no such thing as over kill) coming to pass.
Posted by: Guy S at April 18, 2009 10:30 PM