January 9, 2009
On Gators
I tip my hat to the Florida Gators, and their brutish win over Oklahoma for the national championship. For, as a Georgia fan, I understand Utah is the real national champion. They won all their games, then went into the heart of Old Dixie and beat Alabama like rented mules. Plus, I'm still pissed at Tim Tebow for being a shit to my daughter in high school. Fuck that Christianist, as Sully would say. Well, Sully would say fuck him where it hurts, but you gather my gist, don't you, my gleaners?
No, I want to talk about real gators. Alligators. For between us girls it came to pass, in the land of Canaa Savannah, that an election was held. It was the Senator's last election for public office. 1963. He was in his early thirties, and had tired of politics, because his beloved mother had recently passed on, and because he had to run as a Democrat in the Solid South, which fact curled his lip. He'd won his first senate seat as an independent, but that trick doesn't work for long. Eventually one must join a machine for support, and this was not his bag.
And so, six weeks before the election, he and my mother embarked on a five week Mediterranean cruise on the S.S. United States. The Senator was determined to lose the election.
His law partner, meanwhile, had other plans: to wit, he wanted to drive a truck down to Florida and purchase a thousand baby alligators, which he intended to release on West Broad Street in the wee hours election day morning. The purpose being obvious, of course. West Broad Street in Savannah was the heart of the black community. Where it had once been the Harlem of Savannah, it had not yet become its Compton.
A thousand baby alligators swarming West Broad Street would have evoked fears that the big gators were right behind them, seeking their offspring. Savannah is eat up with gators anyhow.
The Senator vetoed the idea. I'm sure it appealed to him on several levels (he had, after all, had his friends drive their ambulances through the black neighborhoods on previous election days, lights and sireens flashing. It was called "Put Down the Vote", I believe). But he drew the line, possibly his only line ever, here. I believe he was scared it would work.
I only know of this artifact from the Jim Crow Wars because the Senator's old law partner, John Calhoun, told my brother when he was practicing law with Big John.
"I begged your daddy to let me buy them alligators," he said with one part remorse, and two parts reproach. "But he wouldn't let me."
All that background to say I really can't begrudge Obama his little day in the sun. Although as he is of Kenyan descent he'd have to pay full dollar for the righteous indignation one could have for a plug nickel on West Broad Street. But I'm a magnanimous creature. I'll give Obama a three baby alligator head start, and see how well he does.
Heres to my Utes being the real National Champs! Tebow is a saint, haven't you heard the media talk about him?
Posted by: The Other Eric at January 9, 2009 9:38 PMI figured the Gators would whoop 'em. They don't play defense in the Biggie 12. Sireens, don't flash, they squeal, holler, wail, or otherwise make noise. Ask my granny...
I raise you 2 full grown crocodiles that He will be eaten
Posted by: keeskennis at January 10, 2009 8:54 AMMaybe you should read his book.
Posted by: Erin O'Brien at January 10, 2009 4:05 PMWhich book? The one Ayers wrote for him, or the other one Ayers wrote for him?
Posted by: Velociman at January 10, 2009 4:36 PMI think that assertion is tripe.
Posted by: Erin O'Brien at January 10, 2009 6:43 PMI tried. Worst drivel ever put to page, so bad I couldn't finish.
Kinda reminded me of Ayer's work.
Posted by: Randy Rager at January 10, 2009 7:15 PMI think that assertion is tripe.
Which assertion? The assertion that Obama is capable of writing a book with anyone, or that a man wet behind his overendowed ears can have two books of experience in him?
Posted by: og at January 10, 2009 7:43 PMWell, Erin, very sophisticated plagiarism software has shown the Obama books are about 90% positively written by whoever wrote the Ayers books. No joke, the facts are what they are.
Posted by: Velociman at January 10, 2009 7:47 PMShe doesn't have time to research.
Posted by: The Other Eric at January 10, 2009 7:53 PMDoes any "liberal", ever, have time to research?
I've seen no evidence, if they do.
Posted by: Randy Rager at January 10, 2009 8:12 PMInstead of writing about "The Audacity of Hope" he should have written about "The Pompatus of Love". It might have had more meaning.
Posted by: sammy small at January 10, 2009 10:23 PMResearch? I know a whole lot about publication, babies. I've read what they say about Ayers. Sorry, folks but I just don't believe any of it.
It's amazing how angry y'all get at the mere mention of Obama. Amazing, really.
Now in these here pages, I may have used some bad language in fun and poked our intrepid host a bit, but I haven't stepped upon any political soap boxes or insulted anyone, yet all of you trounced on me simply because I declared myself a lib.
Go on and reread my V-world comments. Go on and try to find where I was confrontational or insulting. So really, why are you people so mean? That sort of thing usually stems from fear. And why have so many of you come over to my place, but left no comments?
Now here* is more fodder for your name-calling and insults. But I'm sorry that I won't be engaging in your arguments. It's silly really. I'm way outnumbered here and y'all have your canned responses lined up and ready to go. Plus, you've clearly decided to hate me and I'VE GOT OTHER SHIT TO DO!
If that doesn't satisfy you, then come to my place and engage me. I think Joan of Akron left a good list of posts to start with on the "Character Flaw" comment thread.
*Did some more reading on the 2004 SEC net capital rule change after recording this (I reference it near the end of the vid). Click here for more.
By declaring youself a lib, Erin, you declare yourself devoid of decency, civility, and the barest common sense. If you have so much other shit to do, why do you keep coming back? Methinks you protest too much.
You can cite anything you'd like from anywhere you want; bottomline is, you'd be hard pressed to say anything here that has a grain of truth, and you have clearly rejected the growth to thinking as an adult. SO rather than try to reason with you, which is impossible since you are devoid of reason (a self proclaimed liberal) we choose to make fun of you. You're an easy target. Nothing personal, we'd abuse any fool who stopped by here spouting your nonsense. Do yourself a favor and go hang out with your own kool kidz.
Do please copy paste pieces of this for your book, too. It's so much easier than actually writing anything yourself. Make sure you cherry pick too, so it looks like I'm some uncultured gomer.
Posted by: og at January 11, 2009 1:24 PMIt's amazing how angry y'all get at the mere mention of Obama. Amazing, really.
Helloooo, Erin! Where have you been? You must not get out much! I challenge you to go out in public wearing any garment in support of George Bush or Sarah Palin, or to neutrally refer to either of them in a comment at a liberal blog. We aren't even in the same league when it comes to unhinged vitriol. I am certain, in fact, some of what you are reading is in reaction to the BDS we've been hit with for the last 8 years.
Posted by: PeggyU at January 11, 2009 2:58 PMDoes this mean no more poetry, og?
Hi Peggy. I find that wearing a Bush shirt (preferably white) that is slightly damp and without benefit of a brassiere generally gets a pretty positive reaction, but that's just me.
Posted by: Erin O'Brien at January 11, 2009 5:54 PMErin: Yes, it is true. Men, at least, will often overlook what you're wearing if they can see what's underneath. But why would you want to advertise it? Since you are a self-proclaimed liberal, could you please explain something that has always puzzled me? Why do you folks seem to have an obsession with parading nude in front of uninterested onlookers? When I see "coverage" of a protest, there's always at least one au naturel participant ... and if it's in San Francisco it extends past nudity to lewd actions as well. If the goal is to shock people, then the approach has been overused and has lost its effect. It seems to me that if you want a message to be taken seriously it might be more easily accomplished if you dressed and acted sensibly. Please explain the behavior.
Posted by: PeggyU at January 12, 2009 1:27 AMVelociman, if you are looking for a true NCAA Football Champion, one that has one 10 times in the last 16 years, look no further that Alliance, Ohio, the home of the Mount Union College Purple Raiders.
Utah or Florida voted #1, means nothing without a playoff.
Obama, not my president, until he shows his long form birth certificate.
Posted by: Purple Raider at January 12, 2009 3:29 AMWell Peggy, I can't speak for others, but in my case, I do it because I am fabulous.
Posted by: Erin O'Brien at January 12, 2009 7:52 AMOk, Erin, I get that, but there is definitely a different mind set at work here. I have a fried who is single who is roughly your age ... and pardon me for saying this, but she is hotter looking than you. But she wouldn't be caught in public braless in a wet tshirt. She is an accountant, so maybe she just has to act like a grownup for employment reasons. No, I can't see her doing this no matter what.
Posted by: PeggyU at January 12, 2009 1:18 PMPeggy, it was a joke. I don't own a Bush tee shirt. I don't own an Obama shirt. And the only time I am in a wet shirt is when I get unexpectedly caught in the rain, which would probably find me with a bra on under it all.
Now if you look at any of the photos I've linked, you'll notice that I'm flashing less skin than any Miss America contestant on swimsuit competition day--some show less than a pair of Bermuda's and a tank top, but for some reason, people just think I look really naked in the pix. Most of them were done for one reason or another.
Here's the link again. Now honestly, is there anything there that could be called nudity? Do any of them show more skin than the broad-who's-hotter-than-Erin's swimsuit?
Posted by: Erin O'Brien at January 12, 2009 1:35 PMI looked EoB. You're just not that hot.
Posted by: Casca at January 12, 2009 2:57 PMOh, Erin, honey... dahlink... really. You came in here, read Vman's screed and decided to start something (trolls never understand that part of the equation)with a flippant rejection of any facts based on your own personal feelings about how/who/what posted it. To deny that you wished to rile things up is to play directly into everything Vman wrote about the Left's love for the Lie.
But this, this precious little statement from you: Research? I know a whole lot about publication, babies. I've read what they say about Ayers. Sorry, folks but I just don't believe any of it.
Can you see it moves us not? You skip from idea to thought to the Left's last bastion of argument, I just don't believe it. Wait a sec, lemme 'splain it to you.
"Research? I know a whole lot about publication..." Um... I used to run a printing press and do typesetting and layout for a large publishing company. It does not make me an expert on Bill Ayers. Finding out what Bill Ayers himself actually says and does (see: Research) makes me a fair judge of who and what he is (Obama too, for that matter). Do you see how your statement means ...nothing? It's a non-sequitur of high dudgeon.
"I've read what they say about Ayers." See, here's another problem: you've no direct contact with the man's own words, just a vague idea of the rather correct conclusions that those who do know his words, history and deeds have proffered. Your emotions are just a jerk looking for a knee. Your conclusions are ten degrees removed from what is easily attainable with a small amount of effort. And as a publicist of the first order, I have to tell you that information gets corrupted by too many generations of separation from the original.
"Sorry, folks but I just don't believe any of it." Well now, for that I will stand you a pint, for it is so ingenuosly, nay, unwittingly honest as to warm the cockles of my cold Conservative heart.
I do hope this was helpful. We are breathlessly awaiting the results of your research, your learned refutations of Vman's allegations, and your succesful bi-section of that caterpillar above your eyes, --the physical inattentiveness of which I would never dare point out to any self-respecting woman-- but la! you've certainly released us all from that consideration.
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at January 12, 2009 3:52 PMNo ... wouldn't find online photos of the "broad" buried in bags of Lay's either. She doesn't do junk food. She probably owns a swimsuit, but I haven't seen it. The only "swimsuit" I've ever seen her in is a wetsuit, and I think the suit she wears for triathlons is also kind of dorky. She used to scuba dive with her ex. So, yes ... the potato chip bags actually do cover less than her swimwear. ;)
Posted by: PeggyU at January 12, 2009 5:12 PMI almost forgot (a habit which Erin has cultivated, apparently), that Erin's very first introduction here was not a pleasant request for identification, it was an insult of the highest order:
Go on and reread my V-world comments. Go on and try to find where I was confrontational or insulting.
So, just as a reminder, Erin's first comment:
This is the truth: I hopped over from hoosierboy's site to read this entry per his recommendation. When I saw you were anonymous, I only skimmed it.
The simple fact is this, if you don't publicly sign your name to something, it is cowardly tripe. [Empahsis mine.]
Now, just like our incurious national Media, Erin has no time for going on a bit of research before commenting all of her thoughts. Why, she hardly has time to remember all she's said, so keenly are her thoughts focused on her self-regard, her brimming soul full of Good Will and diligent respect for what she thinks she knows.
Why, based on Erin's logic, the writers of The Federalist Papers were cowards. Lenin and Stalin, too, used pseudonymic handles. It's a time-honored tradition that those in opposition to the ruling class take on a nom de guerre.
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at January 12, 2009 6:29 PMChrist awmighty, you people are indefatigable.
Joan, I was an editor for a monthly for years. And I did layout too--but I used Pagemaker and In Design. "Large publishing companies" haven't used typesetting for a long long time.
My writing bio
I've gone through the publishing process with all my brother's posthumous work and my own novel as well.
I have no desire to dig up links regarding some gobbly-gook theory that Ayres wrote Obama's books. Saw that crap during the election and none of it held water for me. Maybe you've got better links proving the connection from the NYT, ABC, CBS, etc. Post 'em and maybe I'll take a look.
Anymore questions for me, come to my place, people. I'm probably driving our gracious host half crazy by now.
Posted by: Erin O'Brien at January 12, 2009 6:30 PMI could care less if you used Ludlow slugs and Varitype or Dreamweaver. The point was, and is, that your logic and sequence of thought is seriously damaged. Knowing and being proficient in one thing does not make you knowledgeable and judicious in another.
My generous nature wishes to believe that your obtuseness is an affectation. [See how I give your passive-aggressive nature a gracious "out"?]
Still, you address nothing of substance. You cite nothing, you will not acknowledge your insult to this blog's host, you bring nothing to refute, and insist that everyone else do your work for you and now give you blog-traffic.
Sorry, my compassionate conservatism runs out at the Welfare office.
But a pint still awaits. Oh! Have you ever tried Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka? We must indoctrinate you in the finer libations of the South.
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at January 12, 2009 6:55 PMJoan, that is the nicest any human has ever said "Pound salt up your ass with a mallet, you brat" I commend you.
Posted by: og at January 21, 2009 10:16 PM