Velociworld

Got Milk?

No cause too great, no fee too high.

Here's a very poor image from an Atlanta Journal clipping, remarkable only in the fact that the Senator's co-counsel in this case was Bobby Lee Cook (Jim Williams' attorney, and the inspiration for Matlock).

The men sandwiched between them are the Von Waldner brothers, owners of a dairy farm, under investigation during "Milk hearings". What the fuck are milk hearings? I once funneled dollar bills with great velocity to a lactating stripper, but we didn't hold hearings. A few smellings, and a touchings or two. No hearings.

The charges against the Von Waldner brothers? Well, they were milk law violations, of course. High bacteria content. Excessive water in the milk product. Fecal coliform. Illegally high butterfat content. You know, the usual. Apparently the Von Waldner brothers were the Fanjul brothers of the dairy industry.

But look at those boys' faces. They are positively cherubic. Surely these innocent lads did no wrong. And I do regret the Senator didn't commission Charles Addams to do the courtroom sketches. The brother on the left looks as if he had bailiff braaains for luncheon.

Ah, alas. I have no idea if Bobby Lee and the Senator won that case. But they all look mighty piss-pleased in the photo after winning a delay. Nor do I know if they ever handled another case together. But what the fuck could measure up to the flesh-ripping Von Waldner Brothers, who were no doubt jacking off into the milk supply, and forcing Negro employees to shit in the goddam buttermilk? If I remember correctly, and I was only a tiny tot myself, this was about the time the Senator started complaining of "lactose intolerance", and switching to a steady diet of Canadian whiskey.

I would also like to think they won that case, and the Senator brought his little Velocibubby a play pretty home, purchased with fee monies.