Velociworld

Smoke and Mirrors

Every so often Barack Obama tosses some truly insane shit-grenades into the foxhole of the American psyche. Exhibit A would be his call for a Civilian National Security Force. I believe that term translates into its native German as Shutzstaffel. I'm not sure why Obama would need a Waffen-SS military or paramilitary elite organization operating alongside the armed forces, or even if they would report to a reichsführer or the Secretary of Defense.

Exhibit B would be Obama's promise to cut the defense budget by 25%. Twenty-five percent. That's $129 billion dollars. He coos seductively about selectively cutting "missile defense systems that don't work" (personally, I can't remember a missile defense test in the last five years that hasn't worked, but, then, neither can Vladimir Putin). I consulted my abacus to confirm my hunches, and $129 billion is some real fucking money. This isn't just systems cutbacks; this represents a major drawdown in conventional forces (read: people) in the middle of a multi-front global war. Maintenance, support, training. Incredible.

These examples are not meant to represent everything this frenetic fraud says. Frankly, much of what Mr. Obama utters is complete fucking gibberish: attacking Pakistan, causing residential and commercial energy prices to skyrocket, having tea and goddam crumpets with dithyrambic theocrats, unilaterally taking the nuclear trump card off the felt. I don't for a moment think even Obama can believe that bilious tripe. Like his dirt road sport Joe Bidet nattering on about girl-boys and boy-girls, however, Obama just frequently has neurocognitive failures, a victim of a political Tourette's Syndrome wherein he finds himself incapable of zippering his own fucking mouth.

I don't worry about these synapse failures. I worry about Exibit A and B, and C through F. A President Obama will, with the assistance of his Uruk-hai in Congress, unleash a tsunami of legislation that will make FDR's 100 days seem like milk bumps on a baby's ass. The GOP minority will only be able to deal with the most egregious legislation, the aforementioned Exhibits. Likewise the American people will only be able to absorb and be outraged by the red herrings, the 25% cut and the Waffen-SS stuff.

Hence that general is skilful in attack whose opponent does not know what to defend; and he is skilful in defense whose opponent does not know what to attack.

------Sun Tzu

The Republicans will be slaying ephemeral dragons. Meanwhile, Obama's real goals (universal health care, cap and trade on coal, increased capital gains and income taxes, gun control, the Fairness Doctrine) will sail through Congress, and the citizenry will shrug because, well shit, compared to the bad craziness that was defeated, these faits accompli are downright fucking reasonable! Half of the GOP caucus in the Senate will likely strut like vainly plumed peacocks because that 10% cut in the defense budget beat the hell out the 25% that smug little bantam wanted (high-five).

Anyhoos, that's my theory, and I'm sticking to it. Partially because I believe it, but mostly because I made it up. If I can't own my money I may as well own the snot-nosed little hooligan thoughts that erupt from my head like, oh, I don't know, political Tourette's Syndrome, or something. Cock hell! Sun Tzu! Piss damn! If you know what I mean.

Well, Intrepids, with any luck and the creek don't rise this will be my last utterance about Mr. Obama. On the other hand, this could just be prelude to several years of unhinged umbrage. Either way, I'll be drinking heavily tomorrow night.

UPDATE: Rob Sama points out the 25% number is Barney Frank's which is correct now that I think about it. So the 25% number only comes up when Obama unzips his fly and Barney's head pops out. I'm not sure this negates my point, but it does make the fucking gibberish stuff move to Exhibit status.

Posted by Velociman at November 3, 2008 6:02 PM | TrackBack