Velociworld

I've Seen This Before...

I heard a radio advertisement today for volunteers for a clinical study. Specifically, they're seeking sufferers of genital warts in the Marietta area.

Don't do it, Elisson! I've seen these scams before. This is likely just a mad ploy by a local warpskull to satiate his disgusting need for wartpix. Those are your string clusters, man. To be fondled and abused in the privacy of your own home.

I know whereof I speak. I tried the same thing a few years ago in the back of a vacant dentist's office with breast implant indignantaries. The examinations were awesome, and the photos I cherish to this day, but eventually they all demanded I remove their funbag saltbags, and pretty soon I was up to my formerly well-scrubbed elbows in blood, saline packets, and suture thread.

I made my brother a waterbed out of the inserts, so all was not lost, but the knifework was brutal. All I had on me at the time was my Swiss Spartan.

Don't worry, Elly May. I glued an old paper wasp nest to my taint meat, and signed up for the clinical study. I'll expose these wart fetishists for the freaks they be.