April 19, 2008
Brown is the New Black...
...and I'm not talking about the recent improvements in the quality of my bowel movements. Although that's been king hell cool. I'd love to tell you about it. Call me.
No, I'm referring to the glorious transracial blessings our future Overlord, His High Yellow Highness, Obamulatto, has bestowed upon us. Now, I don't cling to religion. If I do invoke the Deity's name it's probably in the form of blasphemy, I'm ashamed to say. You have a close relationship with God? Me, too! Way too close at times.
I do cling to my guns, however. As I watch Fox Business News or Stuart Varney I mutter to myself It's all their fault. Makes my finger trigger itchy, itchy. Ever jerk off a four inch barrel? I didn't think so. Anyway, looka here:
Here's my grandbabies, Cute, huh? We all know Black is Beautiful, but Black is also Boring. Look at those grips. Black, black, black. Boring. I'm not even a big fan of tactical combat grips in general. Don't blow my dirndl up, if you know what I mean. I wanted something else. A melding of the post-racial in a mercenocoital statement even Obamiscegeny would approve of. Look at my .45 now:
Way mo bettah, eh? Some nice bocote wood, evocative of Tyra "I'd Bunk That" Banks, I think.
Now behold the pimped up .357:
Derek Jetery, I thinks to myself. And look how good it matches the holster:
Why, that's like a perfect blending of Halle Berry and Blair Underwood. That's why I call that my Hallewood rig.
I'm proud. I feel like part of the Great Movement now (cf. my first paragraph). And I'm sure Obamixedblood would agree. In fact, I'd like to send him these pictures, but alas, I fear his campaign would misunderstand. And I don't want Jeremiah Wright pounding the podium saying "Not God Bless Velociman! God Damn Velociman!" That would hurt my feelings. And my mama raised such a sensitive boy.
I may send them anyway. My small effort in the national conversation on race. And you never know. I'll bet Obama even has Tyra's phone number.
i agree with joan and that jeremiah wright line was incredible. how your mind does terrify me. thanks for clearing up the whole gun clinging ordeal.
Posted by: SuperGurl at April 19, 2008 1:22 PMI've got a clingy problem, but only after a hearty round of Ditka's Salsa.
Posted by: Cappy at April 19, 2008 8:14 PMV Man! Yur burns in hell and I not even prays for it! Cool. Muss be becraws the Pope's in town.
Ruv Yoo Looong Time!
Great Reader KIM Jong IL
Gun clinging or slinging? If it shoots, make sure you don't point it at your own foot, or any one else. If the shoe fits, by all means sling and leave the clinging to the wrap... ya know, the see through stuff, people.
Posted by: lynda t kelly at April 20, 2008 1:32 PMjust testing the comments...
Posted by: david at April 20, 2008 4:53 PMlooks like some fun looking for a place to happen...let's go to catfish manor and do some shootin'
Posted by: GUYK at April 20, 2008 5:26 PM..... you need more guns, man.... and you'd best guy them now before Obama gets elected......
Damn, your writing makes me laugh more than most anything else can!
(However - Gack ... Derek Jeter?! Apologize to the gun.)
Posted by: Peggy U at April 21, 2008 1:54 AMWhat Joan said, after I looked up the word.
I think that Wikipedia should alter the search to include this post
I've always known you were a sensitive kinda guy.
Although I should probably worry that I learn most of my political stuff from your blog.
Nah.
Halle Berry? I'd do her. And so would SWMBO.
Posted by: Elisson at April 27, 2008 10:49 PMYour pictures of Guns are nice. Also the design and shape. Thanks for your posting.
Posted by: datenrettung festplatte at May 2, 2008 3:22 PMYeah black one is boring but beautiful. I have one :)
Posted by: Fotobuch at May 7, 2008 9:54 AM...and Velociworld is the new Dead Blog.
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