March 24, 2008
Brave New World
Georgia has positioned a vast swath of highway as its "High Tech Corridor", specifically U.S. 441 from Athens to McRae, and U.S. 341 from McRae to Brunswick. You see these signs every few miles:
Yeah, verily. Silicon Valley from the mountains to the sea! The Future is Here!
Well, if that stretch of Godforsaken wasteland is a high tech corridor I'm Oprah's bastard baby.
But, maybe not. In fact, on a recent trip through these hinterlands I actually saw massive evidence that this Future World does indeed exist. Look below the fold to see what I mean:
Look! It's the Bridge to the Future! The path to the Information Superhighway!
And here's how we'll get there!
Rubber is obsolete in Future World, man. Except for middle school condoms. Everything's maglev here, baby.
Alternative energy sources abound in our brave new world, too:
Here's where we'll stay in Utopia:
This was the original plan for the Contemporary Resort at Disney World, but it was rejected because Walt said it was "too fucking radical".
Only the finest cuisine here:
Frog jam was invented by NASA. It was a byproduct of Tang.
Here's where we'll party in High Tech Land:
Nice. I can't believe I've overlooked all of this exciting development. I'm looking forward to the Microsoft/Bass Pro Shops Rattlesnake Roundup in Future World next week.
Damn if the two-lane blacktop in Georgia isn't some of the finest anywhere!
Now that the Jolly Roger has lowered the Miata a coupla inches and put new shocks and wheels on that puppy, it's time for a Sunday drive.
Since I have a job now, I can afford the speeding tickets! They gotta catch me first...
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at March 24, 2008 5:27 PMWatch out for the fiber-optic remote-control traffic light in Ludowici. Don't say you weren't warned.
Posted by: rankin' rob at March 24, 2008 9:00 PMYou didn't even get out of the car at the Frog Jam place? I'm finding your credentials suspect, sir.
Posted by: Scott at March 24, 2008 9:31 PMClub Incognito? Hells bells, sir. I would have at least expected a photo or two of the exterior. Or perhaps your Honda four door was not welcome in the land of mid 80s Caddys?
Posted by: bitterman at March 24, 2008 11:06 PMBless you for posting something more pleasant to look at. I'm assuming you bought a case of frog jam and are planning to gift the usual suspects with this delightful treat.
Posted by: Libby at March 25, 2008 12:14 AMIs frog jam green or red?
Posted by: Peggy U at March 25, 2008 4:47 AMScott, I've exited the car many a time at the frog jam place. And, yes, I do have some. It's brownish red. Fig, Raspberry, Orange, and Ginger.
Posted by: Velociman at March 25, 2008 10:01 AMNeeds a hand drawn sign on cardboard advertising Peanut Soup.
Posted by: og at March 25, 2008 10:35 AMFrogjam: Way classier (and tastier) than Toadjam. Not that I would know.
Posted by: Elisson at March 25, 2008 4:52 PMThanks for clearin' up the non-exitus at the toe jam store. I was just assuming that it was the designer moonshine that had you glued to the seat. My bad man. Sometimes it's easier to tell the cops you can't get out 'cause you're to pasted(to the seat), so they might as well get in. I'm just sayin'. There is some cool shit in Norf Kalina's "Research Triangle"... Lot's of shiney glass buildings and hotels, and traffic. I think I'll take the Jawja's Teck Corridor to that. Too much traffice on 40 for me durin' rush hour. I'm pretty sure they study basketball in that "research triangle", and that it is the place where Phil Jackson developed the triangle offense that doesn't really matter 'cause Kobe's a ball hog.
I could be wrong about that triangle offense. It could simply be the furthering of the orange triangles on the back of the clip-clop Amish horse buggies up here. Probably trying to invent a R.L.I.R not to be confused with the F.L.I.R. You have to mount this one on the back of your buggy so so you can shoot horse shit at the fool about to accidentally run you over on the road. Last great act of defiance and all...
Posted by: RedNeck at March 26, 2008 6:38 PM"Georgia High Tech Highway"
That means you can get FM radio without interruption without multipath interference, right?
Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX
We've got this on I-40--but for Tennessee.
It's our way of saying, "Woo-Hoo!!! We gots "lectricities!"
Posted by: Rosie at March 27, 2008 11:57 AMI'll trade Cleveland's Useless Corridor and the Maginot Line for it.
Posted by: Cappy at March 28, 2008 4:09 PMHmmmm, and here I thought Oprah had an abortion or a miscarriage or sumthin,,,who knew?
Posted by: Michele at March 28, 2008 4:47 PM..... things change, but they remain the same...... I have a feeling that Rosie is right......
Posted by: Eric at March 29, 2008 8:25 PMDrove through Pidgen Forge,Tn. In bout 1973. Speed zone 12 1/2 .M.P.H.
Got a picture somewhere.
The whole area's wireless, ain't it?
Posted by: zonker at April 1, 2008 6:36 PMThe area looks quite green and wireless with patches of brown but no bastards, not in those pictures.
Posted by: singapore at April 5, 2008 1:15 PM"Frog jam was invented by NASA. It was a byproduct of Tang."
BWAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!
YOO LIE LOOONG TIME, Viceroy-Man!!!
Everybodies in Norf Korea nose the truth!
FWOGG JAM WAS CREATED BY MY FATHER, Great Leader KIM IL Sung!It's a bi-ploduct of the Wu Tang Clan!
The eyes of PyongYang are upon yoo!
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
DPRK 90210
Be careful - they are watching!
Posted by: Techy Wank at April 10, 2008 5:58 AMhow about posting more regularly you lazy bast
Posted by: stef at April 11, 2008 5:16 PMHappy Birthday Vguy. I was going to get you a new dirndl but then I found this art work that I'm sure you're going to love better. Don't forget to tip the UPS driver.
Posted by: Libby at April 12, 2008 1:52 PM
You should bring this to Australia. We are investing billions of our tax dollars to make sure the people who never use it have access to it.
Yours An Urban Snob
Posted by: Colin Campbell at April 30, 2008 9:06 AM