February 5, 2008
The Melancholy Fart
Elisson likes 100-word stories. Here's a true one for him:
Yesterday I vented a fart so sad that I almost cried. It was sorrowful, baleful. It murmured in a low baritone, ever deeper, ever forelorn. It was heart breaking. It started powerfully, but then faded, like Robeson going hoarse.
Towards the last gasp, however, it rose meekly an octave, as if asking a plaintive question. A fillip, so to speak. It was as if it had looked into the abyss of despair, and withdrew a step. Optimism? Had its woeful cry reached a nadir, from which it must arise?
Hard to say. But I felt a little better after that.
Holy Mary Margaret and all the ships at sea, but that is some kinda fine fart blogging!
And to think some school districts are trying to outlaw intentional farting. Shame, that.
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at February 5, 2008 6:50 PMAre you sure you did not shit your pants?
Posted by: Catfish at February 5, 2008 9:51 PMIf you are going to fart in such style, you need to find an echosome stairwell, or maybe even a cathedral. Some place where the acoustics are appropriate to showcase your (f)art.
Posted by: Peggy U at February 5, 2008 10:22 PMI counted 99 words, but no matter. You stand astride the worlds of 100-Word Stories and fartblogging like a colossus. Complete with Dangly Bits.
This cries out (in a plaintive little Farty Voice) to be podcasted.
Posted by: Elisson at February 5, 2008 10:40 PMYou counted the words??? Of course you did. That's why I put in 99. Here's your 100th word, Ellie: Putz!
Posted by: Velociman at February 5, 2008 10:58 PMCarnegie Hall, brother... Fart on the big acoustic stage, ... enjoy the echo.
I'm with Cat though... never trust a fart hoss... uh uh... don't do it.
Nice. This summer I'm gonna have a crapblogging post that will make you dipshits all stop blogging in disgust.
Posted by: og at February 7, 2008 10:45 AM