January 30, 2008
Easy Rider Rifle Racks
I surely did not want to get bogged down in a gun thang discussion, but Redneck's comment on my last post beggars a reply.
To wit: whatever happened to the ubiquitous rifle rack in the back window of a pickup truck?
Or, alternatively, if you are of a serious debating nature, I could pose the question thusly, in true Oxford Union style:
This house believes the American Rifle Rack is an Anachronism. Pro or Con?
Boy, when I was growing up you always saw rifle racks in the back windows of trucks. That's how, as a weed smoking hippie hitchhiker, such as I, you knew who to pass on in order to avoid the cornholing or shotgunning. We'd all seen Easy Rider. We were young enough to believe that.
Anyway, I don't cotton too much to the Brits, or Oxford, they being as a rule at the very least bisexual (see, Cary Grant, Ralph Richardson, ad nauseum) and at the very most full blown fags. Didi mao! as the Viets say.
Anyway, my theory on the demise of the rifle rack is three pronged, like Satan's cock:
Here:
1) The smash and grab. When I was a kid and you saw a Remington 1100 in a guy's window you merely admired it. Now they steal it. They're Mexicans, mostly.
2) The sliding window makes the reach-around problematic. Missed another hippie!
3) The standard extended cab makes the shotgun/rifle not only hard to reach, but you now have a damn seat to put it on. Old boys didn't have a back seat.
4) The tool bin: I just look dumb. Locking an $1,100 shotgun in a bin makes sense to me. They didn't have tool bins when I was a kid, too much.
One more Oxford Union Debate:
This house believes Velociman has been drinking entirely too much.
Pro, or pro?
Update: Gee, I guess that was four pronged. Even Satan can't outprong me, I suppose.
I was going to write a comment, but I can't think of a fucking thing to say.
Posted by: Elisson at January 30, 2008 11:13 PMIn the enlightened state of New Jersey, a rifle rack (even an empty one) would probably beget you a roadside visit by a cop or state trooper. Rifle racks kill people, don'tcha know?
Which is why we keep a tire iron in the car.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at January 31, 2008 3:16 AMok, you're right. not common, but i still see them regularly here in texas. of course.
Posted by: SuperGurl at January 31, 2008 8:18 AMI may install one in my Jetta before my next road trip. Not that there'd be a gun on it, but just the suggestion that it could hold a gun if necessary.
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at January 31, 2008 9:21 AMI'll bring this up at my next meeting of the American Rifle Rack Association.
Posted by: Rosie at January 31, 2008 1:00 PMI had a rifle rack in my F-100 mounted behind the seat. Now that I don't snipe deer no more from the roadside, I just carry pistols. Need no rack for that. Keep em in a diaper bag, with diapers on top.
Posted by: Bane at January 31, 2008 3:26 PMStill a very common site in Arkansas; just sayin',,,
Posted by: Michele at February 1, 2008 7:30 PMKnow more than a few with a Big Sky Rack mounted to the roof and out of sight.
Posted by: OA at February 1, 2008 8:21 PMThere is a product available now which provides a rifle scabbard underneath (hanging suspended from) the rear seat of an extended cab truck. Keeps the rifle out of view of casual thieves while making it available for social uses about as fast as possible, simply by opening the rear door and drawing it out of the scabbard. And it doesn't slide off the rear seat when one brakes rapidly....
And the center console of most trucks provides at least 3 places which can store a handgun discreetly. As a trivial detail, the 2001 Chevy Silverado glove compartment has an indentation in the right rear side which is a perfect fit for two Glock 19 magazines in a dual mag belt holder.
Posted by: Mike at February 2, 2008 1:31 AMWell, fuck it then. Bungie cord the scatter gun to the roof of the blazer, point it backerds and remote trigger rig it..., use duct tape as needed, after all, it's all about the get away, plus, if you point it forward, you might accidentally Velocisplat the windshield, and that'd be bad. While you're bungie cordin' stuff, bungie your guard dog up there too. I hear he/she/it likes Mexcan food. One of my dogs likes Mexcan food, but it don't like him back. He showed me so this mornin'... Can't go out for coffee without that dog explodin' like a blast from your precious scatter gun. At least I didn't step in it.
The diapers, on top of Bane's smoke wagon... they're probably durty ones... a deterrent for legal officials to thoroughly search the emergency shit bag. I can imagine the floral aroma in his F100... 'bout like my bedroom this mornin' onced I got back with the coffee...
Drinkin'... Cheers podna... bottom's up brother, glasses AND asses, as I say...
If you've got 4 prongs... can I call you Pitchfork? Ok, Mr. Pitchfork to me.