October 30, 2007
Le Frotteur...
Velociman is always looking for a new word or two. That rare gem that has somehow escaped his rather monoglot purview. Especially one that caters to his perversions, either sexual or polysyllabic.
So I was excited when Jack Straw sent me this Onion editorial. I bow before those boys. They are genuises.
Frottage. Pronounced fruh-tahzh. Like massage. Naturally. The act of pressing one's erection against an unsuspecting female in a crowded place. Or male, too, I suppose. But for my purposes, and particular kinks, let us stick to females, shall we, Insipids?
The aficianado of frottage is of course the frotteur. Man, I like that. Kinda rolls right off the tongue, don't it? Therefore some claim frottage is itself somewhat archaic, and the correct term is now frotteurism.
Fuck them, I say. Frottage it is.
I can't say as I've ever pressed GV against an unsuspecting stranger. I don't recall, given my drinking habits and a few episodes of skullpop black out (but I can count them on two hands! Oh, and one little piggie. Forgot about that time). I've certainly wanted to now and then. But conventions, taboos, you know the drill. Plus, I don't partake of public transportation, so there's that. Kind of hard to pull off a frottage in the middle of a sparsely populated mall. Although I'm sure it can be done.
But this isn't about me, or my cock idiosynchrasies. Unfortunately. I'm thinking it's about my faithful readers. When I read that article I had several bloggers pegged immediately as potential frotteurs. Nay, damned fucking likely frotteurs. I just don't think they have the balls to admit it.
Yeah, verily, laddies. I think it's time to fess up to your ways. We won't hold your dirty, filthy, disgusting perversion against you. Will we, ladies? No sir. Confession is good for the soul. And I know who you are. I can divine a corrupted soul that way. So come clean. Belay that. Fess up. We're waiting.
Frottage is illegal in Rhode Island.
Posted by: Cappy at October 30, 2007 10:10 PMYes! I know what I'm doing at the Holoween party tonight.
Posted by: johnB at October 31, 2007 3:10 AMMust be a yankee thing, unless of course you count football games then that is just part of the pre/postgame celebration.
Posted by: james old guy at October 31, 2007 11:16 AMHad it happen to me on the 176 bus in Chicago. I drilled that bastard's instep with a three inch spike heel in response. Doubt he'll ever try that shiznitz again.
Posted by: Omnibus Driver at October 31, 2007 11:41 AMJune 12, 1976 Peter Frampton / YES concert at old JFK Stadium in Philly, over 100,000 in the audience including one little brunette that pulled up her peasant skirt upon her introduction via Frottage. I didn't have much choice, the crowd was pushing forward. Just went with the flow.
http://forgottenyesterdays.com/date.asp?s=5&tname=7&tdate=509&navb=10
Posted by: Dishonerable Schoolboy at October 31, 2007 12:38 PMSome weird word association thing going on with my brain this morning. When I look at the word, I think "frottage cheese". Now that just can't be good. I subscribe to "Word of the Day" (http://wordsmith.org/awad/subscriber.html) which drops a new word in my inbox each morning. I don't believe "frottage" will ever show up there, since they go with "theme" weeks. Hmmm...What would the theme have to be to include that word? So thanks for enriching my vocabulary. Going to use it in a conversation with the hubby. He can use the edjumacashun and enlightenment and erudition.
Posted by: Peggy U at October 31, 2007 2:43 PMBTW - a yankee thing? Sounds French to me. As a rule, if it's disgusting, it's probably French.
Posted by: Peggy U at October 31, 2007 2:48 PMI've been frottaged once or twice but mostly the perps have just pulled that puppy out of their pants and waved it at me screaming -- THIS is what I'm talking about. I think that's called virtuataged.
Posted by: Libby at October 31, 2007 2:54 PMHad it happen to me after my great-grandmother's funeral when I was 11 years old. Right in the center of my back by none other than the Catholic Priest. To this day I love a good back rub.
Posted by: Norma at October 31, 2007 4:02 PMOooh, oooh, here come some trick or treaters. I'll let them get close enough to stick their hands in the pumpkin and give it a try, oooh, oooh
Posted by: Mickysolo at October 31, 2007 6:29 PMAs much of a gem this post may be, the real fun, as always, is in the Velocicommentary.
"Frottage cheese"? Holy shit, that is one beautiful coinage.
I expect it could be used to refer to the inevitable Gooey Product of a frottage session...or perhaps to that little extra something that Uncircumcised Frotteurs bring to the party.
Posted by: Elisson at October 31, 2007 10:09 PMSounds like the beginnings of a Velocimentary to me, where Vman takes his camera out and documents that sparsely documented mall incident. With sound of course.
Why the hell do you think I bought you that alpine maid outfit, dude?
This year's Halloween costume: sandpaper. Hey, whatever works, right?
Posted by: zonker at November 1, 2007 8:09 AMI can't believe I never knew there was a term for secretly dry humping a stranger on a crowded bus. You know, I typically despise the Velocihabit of requesting genuine confessions, after only contributing pseudo-relevent parodies...But in this case, you get a pass. ;)
Posted by: Key at November 1, 2007 9:02 PM