August 20, 2007
Payback. This Time It's For Real.
So my dog can drink a bowl of water and walk around with two pints of water still sloshing out of her jowls. Or, in the case of Monday instant, it was two pints of fecal coliform matter that she was sloshing as she ran to give me face loving. There was shit matter spattered all over my bathroom, my bedroom, and my bedding.
Took Lil Bella to the vet today. Kissed Slapped her on the head and bid adieu. Tomorrow morning she goes under the knife. They'll remove her reproductive sweetmeats, and return her to me groggy and in pain.
I'm then going to pipe Meat Loaf into her crate all night. Mixed with some Rod McKuen recitations. Because there ain't no such thing as too gay.
Then I'll waterboard her, and we can discuss the slurping of one's master's personal evacuations.
Jeezus. You're probably hell to work for, neh?
Posted by: Elisson at August 20, 2007 11:50 PMDuuuude!! Most bathroom have these things called DOORS. The fatherly (or masterful, if you will) thing to do under the stated circumstances would be to employ said door for it's intended purpose and S.H.U.T. the emmereffer. Good Lord, man, you poison the poor beast and now you're going to ship her off for sterilization and then torture her to boot? What'd she ever do to you but lurve you? Okay, maybe she deserves Meatloaf for licking you after, but, I beg of you, no Rod McKuen -- no one, man nor beast, deserves that. Well, maybe Nancy Belosi.
On the other hand, that does take crapblogging to a whole new level of beastiality. A-man would be proud!
Heh. Play her some Rod McKuen singing Jaques Brel's "Trashy, Baby." That still makes Brel pirouette in his grave.
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at August 21, 2007 7:23 AMSo, how is she doing?
Posted by: Peggy U at August 21, 2007 12:31 PM" master's personal evacuations" I have a new term to try at work today!
Posted by: JohnB at August 22, 2007 7:14 AMSometimes this blog reads just like a Lewis Carroll poem:
"The time has come," the V-Man said,
"To talk of many things:
Of bowls and slurps and water boards
Of bandages and slings
And why (I think) the Meatloaf's hot
And Rod McKuen's jeans."