Velociworld

Death Comes for the Archenemy

Well, I see where Lady Bird Johnson has died at the tender age of 147 94.

She wasn't in my dead pool but then that's because I thought she'd morphed into a dog on King of the Hill years ago:

Actually, I admire anyone who could live with a mean old cuss like LBJ. Can you imagine getting porked by that guy? And I'll always treasure her for her Keep America Beautiful program while First Lady. See, back in the bad old days when I was a child when the family ate a bag of burgers on the road, why, you just threw the trash out the window. No shit! Think the old man was gonna let you soil up his Buick with that nasty shit?

So the highways were strewn with trash. Llike a Last Man on Earth zombie movie. But the cars were clean!

So I want to thank Lady Bird for making me guilty enough to keep my car looking like a dumpster, while everyone else still throws their crap out the window. I know they do. Those convicts and Civitan club members and Boy Scouts aren't prowling the ditches looking for nickels, now, are they?

The only thing one is still allowed to throw out of a car window is, of course, a beer bottle. At a sign. Even little old ladies do that. Even Lady Bird, I suspect, on particularly drunken nights coming home from the fish house.

And I'd also like to thank Lady Bird for giving us the Litter Bug:

Jesus, that thing's creepy. Like all things Johnson. Somebody should throw a beer bottle at it, or something.