My boy Puddyhead called me tonight. It seems his almost estranged wife had locked her keys in her car all the way out at Landings Marina. He had to go jimmy the lock, and so he was very pissed, and wanted her to give him a $55 blow job, which was the price the locksmith would have charged. Then he told me he was still so mad he wasn't going to wash his filthy ass before the blow job, he having recently taken an egregious, nasty dump.
I totally admire Puddyhead. He's the fucking man.