April 12, 2007
Venerable Days
I don't post about my birthday on my birthday, you know. Going linkwhoring, and all. Especially on them milestoners. At least not recently. It's unseemly business, and I've been striving to be very seemly lately.
However, since so many loyal and dedicated readers of my bile saw fit to honor the occasion, I must at least acknowledge that fact. Elisson, Rosie, Leslie, Key, Denny, Erica, Richard, Marci, Jessica... I'm tetched by your thoughtfulness. And also to the many commenters, who were too fucking lazy to gimme a post or a call. Ye shall be haunted, verily, by midjits and sideshow freaks in your dreams. Preferably the ones borned without bones.
For what it's worth, because I know ya'll are dying not to know, I had dinner with two beautiful young ladies. My fustust and lastust born. The twin apples of mine eye. I had the bloody ribeye, they dined more delicately upon salad, and chicken stroppings.
Oh, how those chickens must cry when flayed into slender strips like that. I should have had veal, to compleat the Feast of Agonized Creatures.
A calm night for me, as I am apparently eligible for all manner of discounts, and excrudations (and you know what those are).
As a newly-minted Senior Citizen I suppose it is incumbent upon me to pack the thrill hammer away, and take up a nice hobby like whittling. I must work unfortunately, a bit longer. Those four years in Bhutan, pleasure-milking the yaks for a criminally cheap 30 ngultrums a day was exciting stuff, but got me off my retirement plan.
I do like those North Georgia mountains, though. And settling up there with a boffo yak-milking scheme might not be so bad. A dollar a picture, $20 for a reacharound video? Easy retirement money, iffen the ngultrum holds up against the dollar.
I'll need a photographer, of course. And a large animal veterinarian. Any takers?
P.S. Simone owed me reciprocal birthday tidings, since hers was last week, yet I await, saddened. Abiding, but saddened.
Posted by Velociman at April 12, 2007 8:27 PM | TrackBack... sorry, dude... I only sent you a txt..... good luck with the yaks though.... they like guys with warm hands, or so I am told...
Senior Citizen? Fuck that. Just 'cause AARP will take your money doesn't mean you're an Alter Cocker just yet.
But you are getting closer.
Talk to me again when you hit the Double Nickel, which looms unto me around Oktoberfest-time.
Hope you and your lovely daughters had a good time. Even if they wimped out and went for the chick'n.
Posted by: Elisson at April 12, 2007 8:55 PMOch! Shovelboy did text early. My amends!
Posted by: Velociman at April 12, 2007 9:07 PMI e-mailed.
Posted by: Jean at April 12, 2007 9:18 PMJean e-mailed! Late, I may add.
Posted by: Velociman at April 12, 2007 9:21 PM... heh, heh.... watch that shovelboy shit, brother..... you and I are similar figs on the proverbial tree.....
Posted by: Eric at April 12, 2007 9:36 PMI noted your birthday on the brake-bleeding post!!
...and the e-mail was only an HOUR or so late... sheeeeeeeesh. (old man memory has struck)heh.
p.s. I know you said you're "trying to be seemly"... but, did you mean "seamy"?... just askin' dear man...:)
Posted by: Jean at April 12, 2007 10:36 PM"I'll need a photographer, of course."
I hear told that Howard K. Stern may be looking for work.
Happy belated b-day, YakBoy.
Posted by: Dash at April 12, 2007 11:29 PMDude - I'm waiting for the info that you promised me for the A-Team.
Posted by: Denny at April 12, 2007 11:29 PMSmooches, Dude!
Posted by: DogsDontPurr at April 13, 2007 2:55 AMMany Happy Returns, V-Man!
Posted by: Marianne at April 13, 2007 4:19 AMDamn time flies. Remember you being just a little tyke with rotten peaches in your pocket.
Posted by: Don Jr. at April 13, 2007 6:18 AM"...incumbent upon me to pack the thrill hammer away..."
You may just want to rethink that statement. Just a little sound advice from a friend you haven't met yet.
Posted by: Erica at April 13, 2007 6:50 AMI think I am already haunted by midjits and sideshow freaks. Oh. Wait. Those are my sons...
Posted by: Bou at April 13, 2007 7:36 AMfuck you, old man. and you aren't a senior. just try and get social security, your pension, any old thing at your ripe young age and just see what they say.
now, if you'll kindly drop the protection order, i can complete my work.
freaks borned without bones? that was harsh
Posted by: shoe at April 13, 2007 8:06 AMWell, Winston Churchill once said he wanted to see the Barnum Circus Boneless Man as a child, but his parents wouldn't let him. But once he saw the new Treasury Secretary in 1940 he was mollified.
Posted by: Velociman at April 13, 2007 9:33 AMDamn man...I put The Big Ten Inch out there for you.
Posted by: Yabu at April 13, 2007 10:23 AMHappy birthday! You may officially be an senior but at least ya still got your looks.
Posted by: Freddie at April 13, 2007 10:44 AMI emailed you a stripper, hope you got it.
Posted by: Chickie at April 13, 2007 10:53 AMAh, V-man...it may be a while before The Sister masters the art of commenting in blogdom.
I will share this snippet of sorta private email with you, though, as it is perhaps, blurb worthy...
Now, I am just dying of curiosity about Kim Crawford--I went into his Blog through your link--he's a VERY interesting writer--"out there folks"--Do you know if he has a "real" job?
Great sense of Humor, and very bright..always very attractive...hmmmm. I actually almost sent him an email, but at this point, I think the fantasy
will remain better than the reality.....
Well, anyone who's met me knows the reality far outstrips the fantasy. Even the best sci-fi writers could not envision the fantasy that is me in the flesh.
Yabu: I'm sorry. Didn't know that was for my birthday. I just thought you wanted to, you know, pork me.
Posted by: Velociman at April 13, 2007 1:38 PMEgads, it seems I'm sliding into fossildom but a year behind the Velocigeezer.
Here's to hoping I never catch up!
Congrats on the millstone....um, milestone, Kim. Now then, be sure to abstain from joining the accursed AARP. Ain't nuttin' but a festering bucket of liberal scum supportin' nanny-statists.
I can't wait to get my first solicitation from 'em next year. That sir, will be one helluva Buisness Reply Mail!
Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX
I had grandiose plans involving an over-sized birthday cake surrounded by 50 candles held aloft by midgets. The first forty-nine were relatively easy to acquire but #50 escaped my clutches in Terminal D. Naturally I didn't want to skimp on such a momentous occasion and canceled the plans. I'll try again when you turn 60.
Congrat's on reachin' Nickel-0-dium. That's gettin' pretty freakin' close to reachin' Candlyland man. Leave some bread crumbs. I aint far behind.
I'd have corresponded sooner, but, well, but, I'm not a mind reader, hell I'm barely a read reader, much less a palm reader. Mines always facin' the wrong way so I never learnt it. Never could find the elusive life line.
You should feel good though. I saw today where Julian Ledbetter sold the rights to some Beatles songs to somebody in New York city. That means you can hear 'em on the elevator comin' to a skyskraper near you. And hey, them scientist guys figured out a monkey genome right recently too.
Think of the possibilities with that. I think the monkey they figured out was a Rhesus Macaque...
For brevity's sake I will not attempt to trasnlate that from french to english for you. You're smart, you do the math.
Happy belated birthday man...
Posted by: RedNeck at April 13, 2007 7:16 PMAs it is my habit to tender birthday wishes a day (or two or three) behind, I'm actually right on time.
Happy birthday ancient one!
Posted by: Desert Cat at April 14, 2007 12:45 AMThankee all.
Posted by: Velociman at April 14, 2007 2:07 AM