February 21, 2007
Filthy Stinking Rotten
What the fuck? First James Brown, now Anna Nicole Smith. Bodies in limbo, contested, necrotic, decomposing before our eyes, sloughing into terrible disgusting blobs of stank. If we are lucky enough they let our eyes oogle on them, or, God forbid, sniff them.
It takes a lot of passion to force your beloved's body into tuxedo'd rot down. To love someone so much you let their mortal remains melt unto lard, and allow the blowflies and bluebottles feast upon them. To let them become crab bait. Whilst papparazzi are allowed to surreptiously photograph the rot for further abomination.
Which is, I am sure, the fate that awaits me. Of course, I deserve it, so that's different.
Right on Velociman!
I look forward to the day I can be worm food and not act like these fools who try to deny the inevitable. But we are talking about Anna and her band of merry idiots.
Just tell them you're Muslim and they'll have you planted within 24 hours. If that doesn't work, we'll bring plenty of Febreeze.
Posted by: Dash at February 21, 2007 11:00 PMnuh uh... we'll make sure you stay lookin' pretty.
Posted by: Jean at February 21, 2007 11:50 PMWho's next?
Posted by: Catfish at February 22, 2007 7:24 AMGood lord, you know you're immortal.
But, well - if you're merely delusional - I am sure we could all manage a proper Viking farewell. Surely someone has a burn pit in the back 40 where such a festive moment would go unnoticed by the hoi polloi. Catfish, perhaps?
Posted by: LauraN at February 22, 2007 5:03 PMDoesn't Catfish have a gator that needs fed every once in a while???
Posted by: Michele at February 22, 2007 5:50 PMThe former Brooklyn cabbie turned Florida probate court judge began to break down and cry as he read the order today disposing of her remains. He is as putrid as the rotting corpse he is so smitten with.
Posted by: Jack Straw at February 22, 2007 10:19 PMNo waiting for the dust to dust thing for me; ashes and splashes in my favorite water body.
As in that picture to your immediate left...hopefully, after the cessation of neuronal activity!
Posted by: serr8d at February 22, 2007 10:50 PMThat Judge was un-fucking-believable. I'm surprised he didn't have the rotting corpse brought into the court room for some kind of legal seance.
Posted by: DosPeros at February 22, 2007 11:18 PMOnly the finest are bred in Brooklyn: Rotting Stinking Putred Corpses 'R Us.
Posted by: Erica at February 23, 2007 3:35 PMMe ,
Forget about crab bait . I'm thinking CHUM . Let the feeding frenzy begin .....
I'm leaning more toward Tibetan Sky Burial myself recently. This is the plan...my closest buddies deposit me on the top of Klingman's Dome in the middle of the night. It's bound to be a super fun adventure involving escaping NPS rangers and possible arrest. Unleash the buzzards!
Posted by: Rosie at February 26, 2007 8:24 PM