February 6, 2007
History is History
I'm done with the History Channel. It be history. It was bad enough that 90% of their content quit being history, as such, but had become a bizarre series of interviews with obscurantist fringe puppets of academe, who'd somehow managed to obtain a PhD in such esoterica as "Did the Incas Fly?", "Jet Airplanes of Ancient Egypt", and "Alien-Built Pyramids of the Yanomamo Tribes ". It's like In Search Of..., except there ain't no Leonard Nimoy as Francis the Talking Mule. What the fuck is with the conspiracles??
When I turn on the History Channel, I want to see brutality on the Eastern Front. Xerxes' battles. Fredericksburg. The Hiroshima firestorm. The occasional Marquis de Sade documentary.
No. Now I get an entire series on Jesus statues bleeding from the eyes, Edgar Cayce and Nostradamus dream sequences, crop circles admittedly created by drunken pubcrawlers, and tonight: a lactating Virgin Mary. And, yes, they capture the lactations, although I turned the channel before I could be horrified by what they do with it. It appeared they were going to scald it slightly, then drink it. Must have been Coptics.
Where are the stories of Mussolini's head being kicked down the streets like a soccer ball, anyway?
Is it too much to ask for a little, you know, fugging HISTORY???
.. actually, man, you missed out on not watching that multi-breasted Mary lactate... it was something, boyo.... yes, indeed...
... but hey, I'm with you on all the other history stuff..... but that lactation was something else.... so I gave it a bit of leeway....
Posted by: Eric at February 6, 2007 10:50 PMYou've been watching History Channel so long you've aged out of their desired demographic. The advertisers are only interested in the young, who are more likley to watch a special on Wicca than they are on the Japanese atrocities in China.
Posted by: Jack Straw at February 7, 2007 9:01 AMAmen brother.
Posted by: The Maximum Leader at February 7, 2007 9:43 AMI basically only watch the Military Channel anymore. Good stuff there. If you don't get it you ought to call your cable or satellite provider.
Posted by: Michael at February 7, 2007 12:02 PMafter I retired back in the early 80s I took a degree in History..my major was the GI Bill..most of the professors were left wingers who spent more time trying to discredit documented history than they did in the study of history..one would write a book..another would write a book to discredit it and so on..there were a few GOOD history teachers but the percentage was low..and the History channel does suck as does their magazine which I will not take anymore..
Posted by: GUYK at February 7, 2007 12:32 PMIt's cable (or dish or whatever you crackers on the Redneck Riviera watch). You pay for it. Easy answer. Stop paying for it. TV's crap ever since they cancelled Magnum PI. Just sayin' is all.
Posted by: bitterman at February 7, 2007 12:59 PMI agree Vman. I weened off the history teet a while ago. I'd had all the shows about "the code" that I could stand. I do like those future weapon shows though, but that does have little to do with history. Hell Mail Call's got more history in it.
Now, I primarly stare at CSI Miami reruns on A&E, then google fish for nekids of the females on the show. I'll save you some time. Slim google picken's on the nekkid's...
Posted by: RedNeck at February 7, 2007 11:16 PMI haven't watched tv since last March... cancelled cable. Most of it sucked anyway. Have not missed it a bit.
Posted by: Jean at February 7, 2007 11:53 PMI agree. However, I do see some merit with History Channel International.
Also, I've noticed that the Discovery Channel has taken a shit too. Used to be that you could tune in to the Discovery Channel and see some cool/entertaining documentary. Now all they have is stupid shit.
Posted by: The Raging Patriot at February 8, 2007 12:40 AM"Marquis de Sade documentary"
I actually watched a M. de Sade documentary a couple years back on A&E I think. It was great!
My God...I've been having exactly these same thoughts about The Discovery and Learning Channels!
I think I'm going to have to start wearing my aluminum foil deflector beanie when I visit your site.
TLC has now completely de-evolved into a 1930's Freakshow. Not that I'm not as interested as the next person in looking at men with exploding arms, absorbed twins or the secret lives of dwarves, but should I really be learning about this? Shouldn't I be learning about quarks or something? Isn't that why I come here?
Speaking of "Something"...
Tasty seven legged hermaphrodite deer...now that's something I want to learn about.
Funny (really).
My dad used to call it "The Hitler Channel." I'm just thankful that they didn't show Die Fuhrer lactating, since that would have sent me into epilectic conniptions, although Hitler bleeding from the eyes is not such a bad idea.
Posted by: Erica at February 8, 2007 3:17 PMThe History channel, like any other type of media outlet, is a for profit buisiness. They produce programming that will bring them the most in advertising revenues.
The shitty programming says a lot more about the audience than it does the producers of the shows. How many good educational shows do you see on any network compared to the American Idol type trash? Time for thinking people to get themselves back to the libraries.
Posted by: principled uncertainty at February 11, 2007 4:01 PM