Velociworld

Mad as a Hatter

November 3 is National Cliché Day. You down with that? As if. I'd participate, but been there, done that. Then again, this story has legs. Everybody's a winner today. There are no losers. It's also the first day of the rest of your life. Learn it, live it.

I don't see anyone else participating. I thought everybody was on board with this. Where's the buy in? Oh well. You win a few, you lose a few.

There's a northeaster blowing in tonight, by the way. Probably won't be fit for man nor beast. Probably rain cats and dogs before it's over with. And you can take that to the bank.

Life is funny like that. One day you're reaching for the brass ring. You're on top of the world. You can do no wrong. Then you're yesterday's news. But that's just my opinion. The 50,000 foot view. People look like ants from up there.

People think I'm crazy. But I wouldn't hurt a fly. My bark is worse than my bite. Except when I'm starving. Then I have a lean and hungry look. And I tear into my food like a pack of wild dogs. I don't have the patience of a buzzard like some folks.

Now that my car is paid for I have two options: drive it till the wheels fall off, or buy a new one. I can get a new car for below dealer invoice. They'll even show me the real sticker price. Bad credit no problem. I'll just get last year's model on closeout.

Kids: they're probably the same everywhere. And they say the darndest things. They also know more than I did at their age. Probably because I had to walk to school in the snow. Uphill both ways. And kids mature faster now. Girls start their periods three years earlier than you did. We just seemed more mature when we were that age.

So what to do about Iraq? Stay the course? Cut and run? It's a quagmire. It's like Vietnam. Thankfully we have the greatest fighting force the world has ever known. Sunni insurgents. Sunni Baathists. Shiite militias. Death squads. Bush = Hitler. Bush is a chimp. Saddam was secular. The Iranian people hate the mullahs. Bush is a fascist.

Sorry for the overkill. A little of that goes a long way. I overplayed my hand. Three's a crowd anyway. Maryann was hotter than Ginger. The professor was gay. It's a ball of confusion in here. Thankfully I'm still as sharp as a tack. That's why I'm light years ahead of you. It's not what you say, after all, it's how you say it.

I think I'll watch the high school football game tonight. High school ball is a religion around here. One team will dominate the line of scrimmage, and establish their running game. Pound it up the middle playing smash-mouth football. If they can't open up their passing lanes. The other team will show the blitz. Win the game in the trenches making shoestring tackles. Because they're tough in the red zone.

Sick of this? Because there's plenty more where that came from.