Velociworld

I Lied

I said I wouldn't post again. But if you know me, you know I am an inveterate liar, bullshitter, and all around Person Who Cannot Be Trusted. I ain't the guy who knocks up your daughter, of course. I'm not THAT untrustworthy, plus I look like Walter Brennan lately, being no spring chicken. But I AM a free range chicken, if you catch my drift. Just don't catch me and eat me. Or maybe do. There. I've confused myself. Thanks, assholes.

Helen: it rocked, it wept, it urinated. Go read everyone else. I don't do travelogue. It is beneath me. I saw tits, I'll tell you that. Unfortunately they were mine. But I cut glass with them. Nipples? I'm there.

My decrepit fingers cannot link everyone, plus, uh, I'm menstruating. There's a first! Gotta have that checked out. Of course, I don't trust doctors. They lie, too, like me. Probably say something stupid, like you aren't menstruating, your prostate exploded, dude!

Which we know is bullshit. Otherwise why would I be wearing the Carmen Miranda hat? Dummies. I'm bleeding out here, and they want to play Tail Gunner Joe McCarthy with me. Savages.

And where's my fucking methadone? I pay good money for this coverage.

I must remonstrate. Someone point me to a forum. Thankee.