Velociworld

Peter and Floyd

I'd mentioned Peter and Floyd in my last post, as irredeemable screwheads, but never really elaborated on that theme. Now, I say, as I cox my comb, I will. Screwheads they were, but certainly likeable fellows. Floyd was even gentle, in his way. Peter? No. But he had his qualities.

I am reminded of a time when the Senator decided he needed to haul some bales of hay, or somesuch, and had Peter and Floyd, his itinerant, on-again-off-again employees, endeavor the task. It was pretty simple stuff, involving nothing more that hitching a little flatbed trailer to the Ranchero. And yet Floyd fucked it up. Managed to drop the pistle, if that is what you call it, on his brother's foot. Looked painful, too. Peter was hallooing, and cursing Floyd something fierce. It were an event. We were just goggle-eyed, being too little to lift the pistle off Peter's foot, and help out, so we just watched the events unfold. Floyd eventually got the pistle off Peter's foot, and Peter put his switchblade away. First time I ever saw a Negro brandish a blade. Not my last.

Peter and Floyd were totally fucking insane as employees, mostly because of Floyd's retarded nature. Funny thing, though. After Peter went up the river for slicing someone open I ended up working with Floyd, between college and law school. The Senator's best friend had an electrical supply shop, and I worked there for a few months. And there was Floyd! Still stupid as a brickbat. Our job (for Floyd was my assistant) was to sell lighting fixtures to heavily bosomed Savannah matrons as they restored downtown brownstones at thrice the most egregious of retail rates. And the women lined up. Loved to spend that money. $1,200 ceiling fans in 1979 dollars for half-assed product. Jesus Christo. I also installed them, and would take Floyd to be my ladder guy. Tried to pimp him a few times to the bosomy matrons out of pure fuckaround, but never got the bite I wanted. For Floyd, although stupid as dogshit, was a fine specimen of a man, good-looking, cut like a damned weight lifter. Thought there might be some juice for us there. He smelled repellent, though. Maybe that was it. Or perhaps it was his accursed habit of answering every statement with "Dog Diggity!" Floyd was not the moneymaker I thought he'd be. Too bad, too. He'd a been a king hell porn star, given the right mixture of medication, not available at that juncture.

Still, I miss those guys. Peter, not so much. After his prison stint he didn't come around too much. I suspect he is a Muslim, converted by some Elijah Muhammed Lite. Floyd because, well, I really don't know what the fuck happened to him. I smell a road trip, though. Who's in?