June 14, 2006
BEDLAM
Kee-rist. I finally worked my way entirely through my blogroll for the first time in months, and it's Bedlam out there. And I mean Bedlam. The Bethlem Royal Hospital in London, home to the world's nutjobs since AD 1247.
Where did you people learn to write? And how did the crayons react to the straightjacket? Did you eat them? Did you pass them?
Not that I have anything against the mentally challenged. Why, I love that scene in Coppola's Dracula where the guy is wearing the steel barred cage on his face so the psychotics don't eat his nose off. And if I'm not mistaken, I believe Dr. Seward actually worked in Bedlam. So that would be what the elitists call cinema verite.
Not much in the way of nuthouses around here. The state home for the criminally insane is right up the road in Maclenny, though. Children are told they will send they momma to Maclenny if they don't behave, just as I was sure my mother would get pencil erasers stuck on her teeth so as not to hurt herself in Milledgeville, Georgia, should I not cop the proper conduct, and drive her insane.
I believe I have written about this before, but the best fucking nuthouse in the country is in Bolivar, Tennessee. Just looks like a damned creephouse, all whitewashed upon the hill, well-manicured lawn rolling down to the highway. You can smell the Thorazine all the way from Shiloh.
Eh. A Cuckoo's Nest moment, brought to me by my fellow scribblers. Maybe it is all the politics. I can't stand reading that shit anymore. The world is post-political class, now. The only thing for it is to kill evildoers, and roll back taxes. The rest is bullshit.
"Where did you people learn to write? And how did the crayons react to the straightjacket? Did you eat them? Did you pass them?"
I think people have been shoving them up their noses and expelling them again, just for fun. That's just the mood I'm getting today from the Blog-World...
Submitted for your approval: a green Crayola, crammed up the left nostril unto the sinus cavity, to the point where it tickleth the very Grey Matter; then forcibly expelled.
Is it a Booger? Or is it a Blog-Post?
Posted by: Elisson at June 14, 2006 9:10 PMKill taxes, roll back evildoers. Check. Sign me up.
Posted by: og at June 14, 2006 10:27 PMPlayed in a softball tournament at the Western State Hospital for the Insane at Bolivar once. The city park wasn't large enough it seems. Every other inning called for a delay as the kooks had to be gathered up and leashed back to the bleachers. It's listed on the National Register of Historic Places and is just about as revivial gothic as a building can get. A fellow named Dr. Edward C. Cocke (as in good old Doc Cocke) apparently had a hand in the institution's historical significance. Not sure how. Probably lobotomizing slaves or some such.
I believe a cousin of mine still works in administration there.
Posted by: bitterman at June 14, 2006 10:59 PMWith my discharge papers from Weskoppies (Westheads), our local nuthouse, I have proof that I am not insane.
How can any of you state that you are sane?
After a breathless, heart pounding moment, I reassured myself that I was still on your blogroll.
I was the annoying bitch who wrote her English paper five minutes before class in college and got an A. It shows, I know.
As for crayons, I claim Burnt Sienna and the silver one. Fuck allayawl who say different.
Speaking of colors... when do I get my next dastardly photoshop assignment?
Posted by: Cythen at June 15, 2006 3:17 AMHooray! I made the blogroll! Finally I can die.
Posted by: David K. at June 15, 2006 9:15 AMDibs on the magenta crayon. I'm told it's my power color and I'll take the hemp green for contrast. And nah, I don't eat them, I just chew on them like bubble gum... somebody told me that's the way to make a sticky post.
Posted by: Libby at June 15, 2006 12:55 PMFore-warned is fore-armed.
Posted by: KeesKennis at June 15, 2006 3:50 PMI use Thorazine-flavored crayons. It's an efficiency thing.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at June 16, 2006 4:46 AM...bite me.. my crayons were eaten by the retarded kid across the street....
Posted by: Eric at June 16, 2006 8:22 AM