May 27, 2006
FROM THE FAN MAIL
Disgruntled reader Sheryl comments:
I am Vice Queen of a Red Hat Group here in Manassas, VA. We have a great time, enjoy each others company, listen and sympathize with each others problems. Go out for Tea, raise money for needy organizations and just have fun. Yes we wear silly hats and purple clothes. We don't harm or bother anyone. Just because YOU think it is a stupid idea, doesn't mean you are right. Don't rag on something you don't understand. Get a life.
A couple of things here. First, I would like to know which vice Sheryl is queen of. By the tenor of her comment I am assuming it isn't cocksucking, but you never know. I've heard some of the meanest bitches around are consummate polers, so who knows? Aside to Sheryl: my e-mail address is handy in the sidebar. Share, baby.
Second: I must be deprived. Even my best Earl Grey tea is lower-cased. Where does one find upper-cased Tea?? Inja, I suppose. Another reason I'll never get invited to a Red Hat hoe down.
Third, you notice she worked rag into the conversation? It's all about menses with these women. As if it's my fault they shed uterine linings every month. Although I'm sure in Sheryl's case that annoyance abated long, long ago.
Query: why are these women so mean to me?? I am a fucking teddy bear. Posted by Velociman at May 27, 2006 2:24 PM
why are these women so mean to me??
Penis envy.
They've all got it, 'cause they all wants it.
Posted by: phin at May 27, 2006 3:33 PMheh. you better get one of them little mirrors on a stick so you can booby trap-check the velocimobile in the mornings. Red hats are vicious...
Posted by: rankin' rob at May 27, 2006 4:44 PM"I've heard some of the meanest bitches around are consummate polers, so who knows?"
Best line I've read all day...mwahahaha
Posted by: Lisa W. at May 27, 2006 5:52 PMHrm. Red Hat? Menses? A connection?
I can see it at the next Blogge-Meate: a Red Hat festooned with cast-off Feminine Pluggeroonies. A political statement, sho 'nuff!
Posted by: Elisson at May 27, 2006 8:11 PMLet's see. Where to start? First, cocksucking is a vice? Who knew? Second, depived? No. Depraved, maybe, but never deprived. Third, you've got a ho down? Where? Fourth, Redhatter - menses? Nonsequitur. Redhatters are already on the hormone therapy, i.e. post menopausal. No menses necessary. You dig? Fifth, why are women so mean to you? Because you have what they want - and know they'll never get - girth vader and a tongue that makes Gene Simmons jealous. I rest my case, Your Honor - uh... I mean Teddy.
Posted by: Dash at May 27, 2006 9:10 PMHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Hot damn, this is the funniest thing I've seen all week.
Posted by: sadie at May 27, 2006 9:53 PM"Query: why are these women so mean to me?? "
Penis & gonad envy...pure and simple. That's the only way they can feel good about themselves ... tear down someone with a penis & gonads. There are the haves (men) and the have nots (women). Its all very simple you see?
Posted by: Vulgorilla at May 28, 2006 9:29 AMWhy are these women so mean to you?
Because they don't know your own sweet self like I do, darlin'.
As for the "Tea" vs. "tea" thing, the one with a capital "T" is an event. The one with a lower-case "t" is something you pour in a cup or drink cold with lots of sugar. It's entirely a chick thing... except in England, where it's entirely a cultural thing.
Posted by: Omnibus Driver at May 30, 2006 3:40 PM"I am a fucking teddy bear" you say. Now, would you be using "fucking" as a participle or an adjective?
BTW, I am the Grand Dragon of a "White Hood" group here in Texas. We have a great time, enjoy each others company, listen to and sympathize with each others prejudices. Yes, we wear silly sheets, but just because Sheryl thinks it's a bigoted idea, doesn't mean she's right. My advice: "Sheryl, don't criticize things you don't understand."
Posted by: Bob at May 30, 2006 6:01 PM