Velociworld: THE <i>GRIPPE</i>

April 14, 2006

THE GRIPPE

Aye, it was the grippe I had. Devastating. Debilitating. Finally, on Wednesday evening, after five days of reverse bidet, I gave birth to a tiny chunk of igneous matter, which I named The Rock. The son I never had. I am so proud. And so I am almost erect now, knuckles only scraping ground on the third lope or so.

In other news, Leo Mazzone is spanking a callgirl in a Baltimore Inner Harbor penthouse suite, saying "Who's the bitch, Johnny? Eh? Eh?"

Posted by Velociman at April 14, 2006 7:51 PM

Comments

Can I be the godfather? We can name it Cal, the Calcified one.

Posted by: og at April 14, 2006 8:11 PM

Congratulations.

Why did the Braves have to hire a former Met?

Posted by: rankin' rob at April 14, 2006 10:10 PM

Bought both my boy's Eagle Claw fishing rods before they came home for the first time. Then on their first birthday they both received Remmington 870 Wing Masters. Still have them too. What does Rocky get?.....BMW SL280C...?
Don Jr.

Posted by: Don Jr. at April 15, 2006 3:05 AM

Sing Hey! for La Grippe,
For the goodly La Grippe!
And now, to the Restroom
You must make a trip.

Posted by: Elisson at April 15, 2006 8:32 AM

Fuck your "rock." I passed a BRICK the other day.

Posted by: Acidman at April 15, 2006 12:28 PM

Could be worse. Coulda had the mumps.

Hope you feel better soon.

Posted by: zonker at April 15, 2006 12:54 PM

Grippe? Meh.
Try ague, effluvia, flux, scouring and the quinsy.

Them's REAL diseases.

Posted by: Pedro the Ignorant at April 16, 2006 3:58 AM

Ouch.

Posted by: sadie at April 16, 2006 3:47 PM

Better than anal warts.
Don Jr.

Posted by: Don Jr. at April 16, 2006 4:19 PM

I hope the next time I check in, you've given birth to one worthy of an apgar.

Posted by: Anna at April 16, 2006 8:29 PM

Better an anal evacuation than the cranial ones we've been privy to lately.

with envy,

bunnyjo

Posted by: bunnyjo at April 17, 2006 9:19 AM

You ain't shitting us are you?

I know, That's wide open!!!

Posted by: Yabu at April 17, 2006 6:41 PM

The man shits truth:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecaloma

Posted by: Cythen at April 17, 2006 9:13 PM

As a fellow sufferer of the dreaded stones from hell, I offer my deepest congratulations(?)...

Posted by: Lisa at April 18, 2006 4:18 PM

Glad you are feeling better....guess la grippe has passed?!?!?!?

Posted by: Candy at April 18, 2006 11:09 PM