March 7, 2006
KIRBY PUCKETT
R. The Fucking I. P. Daid of a stroke at 45. I always loved Kirby. He was the Willie Mays of his generation in that he brought such bouyant enthusiasm to the game, with great skills. Not Willie's skills, but still.
It was almost tolerable losing the 1991 World Series to those faggie Homer Hankies in Minnesota, because Kirby brought such aplomb to the game. And it was such a hard fought battle, that that Game 7 was for the ages.
And I felt for Kirby when glaucoma benched him. Lost the sight in one eye. Was dismayed when the wife beating sitcheeashun came out. But hey. She probably wouldn't listen, right?
At least we know Kirby wasn't a steroid freak, the chubby bastard. No ripped and cut there, huh? But I'll miss him.
That's as kind and benevolent as an obit I've ever posted. And with my generation reaching said demographic, I should probably hone those skills a bit more.
A drink to Kirby.
I thought he was great when he sang with the Union Gap.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at March 7, 2006 10:16 PMUm, Jim. That was Gary Puckett and the Cumberland Gap.
Posted by: Velociman at March 7, 2006 10:18 PMMaybe it was Mother Puckett and the Cheezy Gap.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at March 7, 2006 10:54 PMNo, Jim, Mother Puckett is right, but I think it was the Scunion Clap. I seem to recall it was a VD thing.
Posted by: Velociman at March 7, 2006 11:04 PMI'm votin' for DJ Suckit and the Ass Cheek Slap. Represent.........
Posted by: bitterman at March 8, 2006 12:46 AMTwo tears in a bucket? Fuck it, Puckett.
Posted by: Elisson at March 8, 2006 1:40 AMDamn Cold Tea Elisson, you are a rapper now?
Posted by: Catfish at March 8, 2006 5:28 AMWell, at least Charlie Liebrandt finally beat him at something.
Posted by: Rube at March 8, 2006 6:00 AM"She probably wouldn't listen, right?"
And wouldn't shut up, I bet.
Posted by: Arcs at March 8, 2006 8:13 AMCharlie Fucking Liebrandt. Sheesh.
Posted by: rankin' rob at March 8, 2006 8:31 AMFuck all of you with your bad puns.
Pucket went out everyday and had FUN playing the GAME. He wasn't some head-up-his-ass prima donna who read the stock tabled between innings.
He was a true ball player.
So what he he groped an ass-cheek or two? I've done that, but I didn't get arrersted or sued because I'm not a millionaire ballplayer.
Life isn't fair.
That juiced-up asshole Barry Bonds will probably live to be a 112. Of course, Barry wilol have blue balls the size of small grapes though.
So, maybe life is a little fair.
Posted by: Mr. Snarky Bastard at March 8, 2006 1:30 PMMy favorite song of his was Young Girl. But, Lady Willpower is a close second.
Aw, Kirby was pretty good even if he was a Twinkie. What's scary is that he was younger than me. We're all doomed!
Posted by: Dash at March 9, 2006 2:17 PMNot only wasn't he using steroids, but if he was blinded by glaucoma he probably wasn't smoking pot either.
Posted by: triticale at March 12, 2006 11:51 PMKirby:
-- Went from a no-power (and low-on-base-percentage) leadoff hitter with decent speed but poor stealing skills to a power number three hitter in a single season -- at the same moment when a handful of his teammates (Gary Gaetti comes to mind) experienced similar boosts in power.
-- Underwent changes in physique from his rookie self to his retirement form that do indeed resemble the changes in Barry Bonds. Look at Kirby's head and neck in 1984.
-- Ended his career due to a medical condition associated with steroid use, glaucoma. (It's also a higher risk for African American males, of course.)
-- Went through a painful court case over an episode that could easily fit the model of "steroid rage"
-- Died of a stroke that, again, bears some resemblance to those resulting from steroid use.
To dismiss anyone who asks about steroids as insane or paranoid is a little much. The thing is: if our demand for not just an infectiously enthusiastic player but a superstar might have played some role in the man's death, then we owe it to him and to ourselves to ask the question. I know reporters for the local papers have asked the questions of people who knew him, and gotten no confirmation -- but the circumstantial evidence is strong enough that it was among the first questions they asked in interviews recently.
Posted by: irw at November 15, 2006 8:16 PM