February 28, 2006
PLUMPING LIKE A BALLPARK FRANK
I've been remiss again. I didn't plump the blogroll last Monday, and today is already Tuesday. Which means I shall select two peepa who link me for most vociferous opprobrium. Or calumny. Just depends on my mood.
First off: Libby, at Last One Speaks. An occasional commenter, always polite. Doesn't have me blogrolled under Swingers though, does Libby. I'm under Drunks and Poets. Well, which is it, baby?!? Drunk, or poet? Because where I come from, those words are interchangeable. Witness:
Row after row with stritc incontinecy
The headstombs yield their names to the Velamint,
The wind whirrs without passing Go, colletcing $200;
In the riven troughs ba splayed lips
Pile up, of nature the castratum sacrilege
To the seasonal eternity of deafnes;
Then driven by the fierce scrottum
Of heaving to their erection in the vast breath,
They sough th rumour of morbibity.
Nice, eh? And with all due respect to the memory of Allen Tate. Fugitive Poet. That's what I'm talking about. Thanks for the link, Libby. By the by: what it say on yer label, label, label? Jes curious.
Next? Sluggo Needs a Nap. Actually, Sluggo needs to recalibrate his fucking medication. Posting pictures of animal cocks on sale for dinner in a Peking restaurant. Why China will never rule the world. Eating animal slog is a definite step back in the evolutionary process. Although, given my fear that God looks like Master Po, I do dread arriving at the Pearly Gates and being given a plate of oxcox. Of course, Po God could send me to Hell, where the poor tortured souls are forced to eat Memphis barbecue at all times.
Okay. Slugoo gets a frigging break. Because he's into Zippo lighter tricks, and Lileks. But he better watch his step.
Question: are Muslims circumcised? I'm thinking NOT. Add it to the list.
P.S. Speaking of plumping like a hot dog, you know how you know you've truly become an old fart? When you get passed in traffic by the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile:
Happened the other day. Man, that's just sad. I must be ready for an assisted-care facility. Posted by Velociman at February 28, 2006 8:34 PM
Yes, Muslims are circumcised. Now if we could just take a little off their other heads, we'd be aces.
Posted by: Adam at February 28, 2006 10:15 PMI'm grateful. But you do know I'm from Jersey, don't you?
Posted by: Sluggo at February 28, 2006 10:48 PMAm I gonna get whacked? I insist Parkway Rest Stop be the trigger man, then. Cause I can outrun him.
Posted by: Velociman at February 28, 2006 11:25 PMForced, forced to eat Memphis bar-b-que?
Dude, thems is fightin words where I come from.
Memphis bar-b-que is the best food in this universe, or in any afterlife you care to imagine.
Posted by: Jack at March 1, 2006 12:40 AMSluggo is definitely da bomb. Good eye, V-Man.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at March 1, 2006 2:48 AMFar be it from a relative stranger to comment either on your swingerism or your alcohol consumption, but you definitely belong on the poet list. Interchangable? Possible but not mandatory. I believe it was Emily Dickinson who said something about knowing it's really poetry when it just blows off the top of your head -- -- only a truely mad poet could come up with that phrase about Po, the Pearly Gates and cattle parts! I'm surprised I'm not scraping bits of brain tissue off the monitor at that one. Iambic pentameter is boooring -- THAT post is pure poetry!!
Posted by: Marianne at March 1, 2006 3:58 AMHey V-man. Thanks for the link and the answer is definitely a poet who just might be drunk at the moment of climax. I would have put you in swingers, cause I'm pretty sure you swing big but you didn't reach the mandatory threshold on the political posting scale. It's a complicated system. I did consider creating a new category just for you -- inexplicable -- but I thought you'd be lonely all by yourself.
As for what's on my label, I'm afraid the grand jury has instructed me not to comment on an ongoing investigation. National security, you know.
Posted by: Libby at March 1, 2006 8:36 AMJack, I was praising Memphis barbecue. I would gladly endure eternity in Hades if I could eat Interstate, Rendevous, or Corky's every day.
Posted by: Velociman at March 1, 2006 10:12 AMThat poem reminded me of Primal Purge. Or Captain Beefheart, one or th' other. Jurd! Hobo Chang Ba!
Posted by: Elisson at March 1, 2006 6:42 PMI've had Rendezvous, now I've got to look up Interstate and Corky's. Luckily, I'm liable to be back down there next week, so the search is on.
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