Velociworld

THIS SEEMS FAMILIAR

I was talking to my next door neighbor tonight as I was dragging half a steer out of my truck. Well, actually, it was my briefcase, but my arms are spindly these days, and it felt like a damned slab of beef. At any rate, I glanced over at my other neighbor's driveway, and saw my little girl cat, Phoebe, lazing in their driveway. Well, the running over of a pet is cause for great disconsolation in the Velocihovel. Daughters weep, Dad has to break out the shelva for burial detail, all in all something one avoids at all costs. So I walked over, thinking this little firecracker ass will run like hell, feral little shit she is.

And yet she pliantly allowed me to pick her up, and take her indoors. That's strange, I thought. Mayhaps the gorging upon real pet food instead of skinks and lizardies has tamed her ass. I plopped her on the floor, where she nuzzled her big brother, Fosse Maximus, then wandered off.

I had the back door open, by the way, this being Florida, but I gave it no further thought. But an hour later I was going out the front door to help the Bride with some groceries. Phoebe was by the front door, but when I opened it: Lo! this clone was there! Staring at us. Apparently the selfsame cat I had brung inside before. Not my cat, but a compleat replication. I should have known I was duped before. That cat I brought inside was much less skittish and temperamental than Phoebe, that feral bitch.

But I am told on good authority that clones lack certain enzymes, and amino acids, that render them docile. Stupid, even. So that may be the situation. But I'd rather have the stupid clone, as long as it doesn't yak da fucking lizards in my bed.

Which brings me to familiars. From, like, the accursed witch world. An attendant spirit, often taking animal form.

So mebbe I have a damned familiar problem. This thing is too much the clone. Kinda scares me. First it gets into the pet bowl, then it's rifling through the credit cards. Know what I mean? I should just take it out. Tie stones to its carcass and throw it in the lake.

I could be wrong, of course. Could be a neighbor's beloved pet. But I say why take a chance?