February 12, 2006
THE HUMBLE CROQUETTE
I got a wild hair and made salmon croquettes for dinner. That is honest to God Southern soul food. Nothing fancy there. Pick out the bones and skin, mix with cracker meal, fry in canola. Serve with lavish helpings of grits, and either atherosclerotic corned beef hash, or similarly dangerous crinkle cut fries. I had both.
My family was excited about a new meal until they tasted it. Now, the Bride was raised on croquettes, just like I was, but she cannot abide them now. A good friend told me you smell like what you eat, and that is why so many females won't eat fish. I don't know if that theory holds water, but I can attest that my armpits smell suspiciously of Black Angus and swine, so perhaps it is true.
Back to the croquettes. I don't like the term Comfort Food, because that implies there is Discomfort Food. But come to think of it, a bad Thai meal that has passed its room temperature shelf life definitely falls in the latter category.
Salmon croquettes are what your mama made because she had too many young 'uns, but had enough dignity not to buy jack mackerel.
I thought they were excellent. And because the family immediately went to default mode (Edy's) I was able to gorge myself on the soul food of my youth. Sure am glad my mother never fed me chitlins or tripe. I might be hooked on that shit now. Although I have my dander up now, and will probably come home with a shitload of collard greens tomorrow.
Oooh..I LOVE salmon croquettes. Five kids were fed on one can with croquettes, or one jar of dried beef to make creamed beef on toast. Both hot meals!
Posted by: Belinda at February 12, 2006 9:23 PMAh, creamed beef on toast. What those poor benighted Yankees call chipped beef on toast. Haven't tasted it in over 30 years. Come make me some.
Posted by: Velociman at February 12, 2006 9:27 PMAw, bullshit, sport. Salmon croquettes are great food, you just have to spice them up a bit. Use onion and bellpepper and damn the cracker meal. Use ritz crackers instead and crumble them yourself. Add an egg as binder and fry them till they are brown.
Then if your clan don't like them, tell em all go get gone while you gorge.
Posted by: PawPaw at February 12, 2006 9:32 PMI used onion and pepper, PawPaw. Ritz are great binder, but I was out. Three eggs. Secret spices. They kicked ass.
Posted by: Velociman at February 12, 2006 9:37 PMSome women don't have to eat fish, to smell like fish.
Posted by: Catfish at February 12, 2006 10:10 PMRemember the joke about the blind man? The question is, what does a blind man say when he passes a fish market? Hello ladies.
Posted by: Catfish at February 12, 2006 10:11 PMSalmon croquettes?? My mama used to mix canned salmon with leftover mashed potatoes, diced onion and a couple eggs. She'd fry 'em in bacon drippings and called 'em Salmon patties. There were eight of us to feed and we all loved those things. We thought the skin and bones were the best part.
We had creamed chipped beef on toast a lot, too. Mama called it SOS. I didn't find out what that meant until I was almost 16. I had no idea we were poor, I thought everybody got to eat all that really good stuff like split pea soup, boiled beans and ham hock, and hamburger gravy on boiled potatoes, all with baking powder bisquits, or fry bread and canned veggies. We had a garden too, depending on where we were living. Beets and turnips and the greens, fresh sweet corn, peas and green beans Mama canned. And once a year Daddy and Uncle Elmer bought a beef, then killed and butchered it in the back yard. It took an entire weekend to cut up and take care of the meat. Blood sausage, tongue sandwiches, fresh liver, and baked heart sandwiches. Rich kids don't get the good stuff.
Crap, I'm making myself hungry.
Posted by: Gerry N. at February 12, 2006 10:26 PMSOS. Shit on a shingle. Heh.
Posted by: Velociman at February 12, 2006 10:47 PMProduct of the canned salmon patties right here; usually twice a month, indeed, Mother would stink up the house with them. 'Course we ate mullet (smoked and fried) and god damn bloody ass spanish mackerel as well. I'm relatively confident if Mama coulda got a fork through them, we'da probably ate the fucking spadefish too.
Posted by: bitterman at February 13, 2006 3:22 AMDamn! Now I know why my pits smell like bourbon and peanut butter.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at February 13, 2006 3:23 AMWhat's this "CROQUETTE" shit? Faggits! Momma called 'em "Salmon Balls" and by god, that's what they were/are. I did wonder though why she called 'em "balls" when they were flat as a flitter! Sumthin' fishy 'bout dat!
Posted by: I'm not James Hooker-REALLY! at February 13, 2006 6:34 AMlike pawpaw we called them salmon paties. They are always served with fried potatoes at the HB house. I fixed creamed beef (dried beef gravy in the hoosierland or SOS) only once, the entire family refused to eat it. More for me!
Posted by: hoosierboy at February 13, 2006 9:00 AMhttp://circabellum.blogspot.com/2005/11/salmon-croquets.html
abolutely love them croquets. slather 'em in Louisiana hot sauce and they'd make Alton Brown ashamed. Just sayin'
All my clan LOVES them. It takes 6 cans of salmon...and I cheat now and buy the already cleaned stuff..onions and peppers, secret spices, yes, and crackers. I hate to use corn meal, but it works, too. Peanut oil for frying...yummy. Mac and Cheese and some kind of vegetable and it's all hail Mom!!! (And the husband is extra appreciative, too!)
Posted by: Kelly at February 13, 2006 9:48 AMWow, salmon patties! I grew up poor on the Gulf Coast. We ate the poor folks food. Shrimp right off the shrimp boat at 50 cents a pound, blue crab by the trash can full from the canal across the street, venison from the woods behind the house, veggies from the garden that we had to fight the deer for. Reminds me of the story of the kids of the poor lobster fishermen in Maine. They were forced to take lobster salad sandwichs to school everyday. Isn't this a great country where the poor folk eat better than the rich!!!
Posted by: SciFiJim at February 13, 2006 8:23 PMIt was the canola...Satan's ejaculate. Shoulda used butter, or bacon fat. Mackerel is what I suspect Satan's dong tastes like, though I've only smelt it. I am of Norse heritage, but I draw the line at their fish fetish. Salmon is alway right, though.
Posted by: Bane at February 13, 2006 11:48 PMCroquettes or patties, whatever the fuck you call 'em, they're delicious. It's the only real worthwhile thing to do with canned salmon.
A little egg, some matzo meal (screw Ritz crackers. This stuff's the shiznit!) to tighten the mixture up, and plenty of spice, and you done got somethin'.
Posted by: Elisson at February 14, 2006 7:11 PMCanned Salmon?! No wonder God made you people wander in the desert! And I can see it didn't take. Phaugh.
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