Velociworld: DENTS IN MY HEAD

February 12, 2006

DENTS IN MY HEAD

I'm pissed. As I was massaging my scalp tonight, part of the weird ablutions I givva myself before I slumber, and you asses don't want to know what else, I felt dents in my head. Caused by eyeglasses! I succumbed to what they call the 40 year disease age of 42, a coupla years ago. No big, I thinks, but now I have dents in my head! Fucking grooves caused by those eyeglasses. I can feel them. They feel nasty.

I have two options, as I see it:

(1) Roll over, and take it, and have women come on to me because I have grooves in my head, and they pity the creases. Pity fuck.

(2) Embrace the grooves. I won't let you touch me unless you touch the grooves. I'm thinking the pussy is far better with plan (2). Just a hunch. I'll try it both ways.

Oh, yeah. Better run this one by the Bride. She might take umbrage at the whole pussy thing...

Posted by Velociman at February 12, 2006 1:17 AM

Comments

You sure those dents aren't from people resting their beer bottles on your haid while you go to work? Huh? That'd be nice. Get yourself a nice cupholder in the top of the skull, maybe some teeth fall out. You'll be making crazy money well after you hit that retirement age.

Posted by: zonker at February 12, 2006 1:39 AM

Nice Rant! The MSM are a 5th column! I'm NOT gonna take it ANYMORE! How about a nice allah cartoon on the sidebar Vman?

Posted by: Jim at February 12, 2006 1:53 AM

Lombroso's pseudoscience of forensic phrenology has a marker for you, daddyo. You bees a savage deviant. Atavistic, I would say, based on your propensity to surround yosef wiff monkeys.

Handle ears, hawk nose, or fleshy lips factor into the profile? The calipers do not lie. Born criminal, sez they.

Somebody call the law on this man......he gots knots on his noggin.

Posted by: bitterman at February 12, 2006 2:24 AM

Yep, "temple dents" -- I got 'em too.

Posted by: Jim - PRS at February 12, 2006 2:36 AM

Grooves? Yeah, I'm down wit' da grooves.

Sat on a plane for 4 hours oncet, crammed in to a first-class window seat next to Abdullah the Butcher. Guy musta weighed 400 pounds, solid muscle. And he had grooves on he haid.

Posted by: Elisson at February 12, 2006 6:40 AM

Embrace the grooves? Honey, you did that years ago... and it had nothing to do with dents from your glasses.

Posted by: Omnibus Driver at February 12, 2006 9:14 AM

I think all of us 4-eyed geeks got the grooves. Now the next time you shave your head, see if you don't also have the permanent tattoo thing going on behind your ear from years of using it as a penholder. Or maybe I'm just an �bergeek. Been known to sport 3 or 4 at a time -- I call it a fashion statement.

Posted by: Marianne at February 12, 2006 11:13 AM

Two words.

Silly putty.

Posted by: Cythen at February 12, 2006 12:14 PM

Grooves Rule! I've had then since age 6, so I don't have any choice. I prefer to think of them as a fashon statement, like tats.

Posted by: Junebugg at February 12, 2006 2:52 PM

A groovy, hairy man? Why, you're Austin Powers, baby!

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at February 12, 2006 4:46 PM

What are tats? Flappy tits? I have a permanent groove around my skull from wearing a helmet in the military (as opposed to on the short bus). Aye, it bothers me.

Posted by: Bane at February 12, 2006 7:27 PM

What about finding glasses that fit? Just a thought. Or is your head on constant swoll from all the big words you know?

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Posted by: eman at August 18, 2006 5:17 AM

i got a dent right in the center of my head from surgery and i'm bald.

i see people on tv with dents and they look ok.
i hope i'm making to much of this because i hate wearing hats.

Posted by: tony at September 14, 2006 11:34 AM

Man, I feel so much better after reading that, my friends thought I was nuts - that my sunnies fitted perfectly into the dents in my head (caused by them I might add!). I was about to take myself off to the Dr with a list of symptoms - I had already diagnosed myself with an inverted brain tumor.... go head dents.

Posted by: TIna at May 29, 2007 2:11 AM