January 28, 2006
SHOW TIME
Acidman has been able to watch his son's basketball games lately, and that is a cool thing. I'm glad for Robbie. I won't ever have any boys to share my jock experiences, but my girls dance competitively, and it is much the same thing.
When The Show starts, all you can do as a parent is cross your fingers, and gnaw your knuckles, and whisper to yourself Please God don't fuck up. Of course we all did, and they will, but that's okay. The important thing is that sense of exhiliration, and gut-stomping anxiety, you feel when your child is called upon to perform, and there isn't a damned thing you can do to help them. They are on their own. That's what being a parent is all about.
I found this post poignant. I've been there when my kid screwed the pooch, so to speak. Totally forgot their routine. Just brain-cramped up, and walked off the stage with flushed, tearing face, crushed soul. That experience demolishes a parent. You can offer solace, empathy, it doesn't matter. That child is damaged. Until they are able to redeem themselves. And they do. Because we raise our kids, I hope, and think, to be resilient. To overcome. And when they do succeed, the past is prologue, the future is bright.
Kids. It must suck to not have them.
Yeah. It DOES suck not to have them. I mean, for awhile it's fun, but it wears off.
Posted by: liv at January 28, 2006 10:39 PMDitto liv. It'll be one of those gnawing bitter regret things when I'm 80, I'm sure.
Posted by: Desert Cat at January 28, 2006 10:44 PMKids are the most amazingly wonderful, blessed thing you can ever do. They're also the hardest, most painful, brutally hurting endeavor every undertaken. At some point you realize you can only do so much and then you have to let the guilt go and hope for your own redemption, while they search for their own.
Posted by: kim at January 28, 2006 11:52 PMMy life began the day my son was born.
Posted by: Maeve at January 29, 2006 7:59 AMwow, you old softy. i think i'll bookmark this and read it when i want to kill the little crumb crunchers. resilient indeed, five minutes in time out and they're dismantling the bedroom. so i must go, velocidad, a lego war is brewing.
Posted by: shoe at January 29, 2006 11:15 AMWhat did we do for entertainment before we had 'em? I don't remember.
Posted by: Dash at January 29, 2006 2:55 PMThat competitive dance thing? I can relate. Daughter the Elder did the Precision Dance Squad thing when she was in high school in Houston. Seroius business, that. The squad was run by a little Nazi in a short skirt.
Pain in the ass, but it was a great exposure to Merciless Discipline and Ruthless Competition for the kids. Good things to have some familiarity with, whether you wish to embrace 'em or run like hell from 'em in later life.
Posted by: Elisson at January 29, 2006 10:43 PMHaha! Years of sleepless nights, worried days, emergency room visits, filled diapers, emptied stomachs...but the conditioning works every time and sooner or later all of you parent types start in with the "[Insert child's name here] is the kindest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever met" gig.
Remind me to bring a deck of cards to the next blogmeet.
Posted by: zonker at January 30, 2006 1:13 AMAnd ya know what? The same feeling is there when it's the grandkids' turn to be in the spotlight!
Posted by: Michele at January 30, 2006 11:26 AMMy oldest takes off on his own this summer, and our baby just one year after that. I think we've raised a couple of citizens, but only time will tell.
It's been a hell of a ride. Sadly, because of what has become of our state (California), our country and our world, I don't know if I'd bring a child into it. And with the fucking my brother is getting in his divorce, I'd damned sure think long and hard before getting hitched.
Posted by: The Other Mike S at January 30, 2006 6:35 PM*grin*
You rock, V-man. Your girls are damn lucky to have YOU for a dad.
Posted by: Dana at January 30, 2006 6:39 PMHad one of those penalties tonight. It didn't matter much though. The Naked Mole Rats had doubled their oppositons socre by then... It was just like a "shit man" check your feet dude... Then they went back to playin football.
The spawn of satan that is my offspring brings me nothing and takes everything.
Love of the highest order.
I'm with Maeve.
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Posted by: eman at August 18, 2006 5:28 AM