January 23, 2006
I SMELL BRIMSTONE...
I heard through the Twilight Bark at work today that my name had been put In Play for something at a top secret conclave of Good Ole Boys. A job, or some such. Now, the only thing worse than being In Play is Not Being In Play, but I've learned a few things after a few cascades off the back of the turnip truck.
Number One: if they want me to do this job, it must be opprobrious. No one wants their name attached to it, but they need someone who can fucking execute. Smells like Velociman to me. I, after all, have been cavorting with Mephistopheles of late, and those sort of midnight black arts convocations are always witnessed by someone, damn it. So I may have been smoked out in a dark woodlands gloaming as just the right guy for this thing, whatever it is.
Number Two: I have a track record for performing the distasteful, although I also have the downside of requesting a bonus outside the provenance of the original deal, so foul did the job become. I figure the usual haggling will ensue, and I'll take the brokered 50%.
Number Three: Serious expense account abuse will be involved. They always tell you No Big, but I hates a fucking paper trail. Memo to self: hold out for 75% negotiation on the overage, just in case I need to fly to a non-extraditable.
I'd better get some rest. Someone, somewhere, is going to get a screwing of their corporate bank account, and I need my beauty sleep.
Number Four: this will totally be non-Sarbanes-Oxley.
There must be something in the water...And I'm drinking from the same well. Just Damn!
Posted by: Dax Montana at January 23, 2006 9:56 PMSay wha!
Posted by: Bullseye at January 23, 2006 10:22 PMI get all moist thinking about it. But now my ass is all itchy.
Posted by: Elisson at January 23, 2006 10:24 PMAnother big benefit...once you're a member of the "inner circle", it will be so much easier for you to be a part of the problem.
Posted by: David K. at January 24, 2006 8:52 AMCould be something so simple that only an experienced master is called for: Leader of the midnight circle jerk.
Posted by: WitNit at January 24, 2006 11:47 AMHe got skillz!
Posted by: Dash at January 24, 2006 1:15 PMAgain you bring back a word so long exiled from my vocabulary, opprobrious. Beautiful man, just beautiful.
Posted by: Dishonorable Schoolboy at January 24, 2006 1:45 PMKeep an unregistered on you, along with a vial of blood from the midnight-feathered hen. Good luck, and remember to bring an ear back as a trophy.
Posted by: Cythen at January 24, 2006 1:53 PMI like the way Cythen thinks....
Posted by: Marcus at January 24, 2006 6:33 PMJust remember, next Tuesday is your turn in the barrel...
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