January 20, 2006
I NEED NEW READERS
Or at least need to winnow out the fucking poseurs. I put up a post about, say, preferring percolated coffee to that drip sludge shit, and I hear from people, some my good friends, hoisting their noses in the air, and sadly shaking their heads as they patiently explain to me I need a French press, or a vacuum style.
Fuck you people! I want a cup of damned coffee that wasn't dripped through a filter of specious grinds, not a goddam work of art.
It's all about the octane. I like my coffee at 93.5. I want a kick in my ass, and percolated coffee tastes better than dripshit to me.
You fru fru fuckers would never cut it as cowboys, unless you were of the Brokeback variety.
Damn. You're all fired. Then I'm going to YOUR fucking blog and tell you what a dweeb YOU are, because, invariably, your last post will have SUCKED!!! Because they all do.
That is all. I feel better now. And I'm buying a fucking percolater tomorrow.
Stainless steel; I humbly submit.
http://www.overstock.com/cgi-bin/d2.cgi?PAGE=PRODUCT&PROD_ID=1455728&cid=25608&fp=F
Posted by: Cythen at January 20, 2006 8:15 PMWell hell. Good thing I'm a simpleton. Just coffee, black, no cream or fucking sugar. Bleh.
Posted by: agent bedhead at January 20, 2006 8:22 PMFarberware is about the best one:
Posted by: og at January 20, 2006 9:11 PMNevertheless, percolated coffee still blows. - Galileo
Posted by: Elisson at January 20, 2006 9:15 PMCowboys, my ass. I just chew the farookin' beans and take a mouthful of boiling water.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at January 20, 2006 9:23 PMEspresso....Italian roast! Now THAT'S coffee!
Posted by: Candy at January 20, 2006 10:16 PMI drip. Enough said.
Posted by: Dana at January 20, 2006 10:21 PMAwww sounds like you need a hug!
Eric?
Dax?
Zonker?
Well, getcha one then. See if we care.
Although drip pots are better, if you like percolators, go for it.
If you really want Hi-Test, get a sock pot. Google that. It makes coffee strong enough to float a bullet.
Posted by: Pawpaw at January 21, 2006 12:19 AMI don't drink coffee. It keeps me awake.
Posted by: triticale at January 21, 2006 12:21 AMBoil water in pan or pot. Add a handful of coffee (only Swedes boil their coffee). Bring to boil again. Add a little cold water to settle the grounds. Drink. Real cowboy coffee.
Drip makers are for pussies.
Posted by: Hoosierboy at January 21, 2006 12:54 AMNow this is a weird coincidence.
The Venomous Hubby and I argue every single morning about our coffee pot. It's a Bunn, and it makes a full 12-cup pot in 3 minutes, flat. He loves it. I think it makes coffee that tastes like a real coffee-drinker's urine smells... with about as much caffeine, too. (I do have to give him props for finally breaking his cheapass habit of recycling the grounds... now THAT makes a fucked up pot of coffee.)
Anyway.
Today the new French press coffee pot I ordered for myself finally arrived from Amazon. I lurrrrrves it. Yeah, it's a pain in the ass but if done right it makes an awesome cup of coffee: full-bodied, rich, with plenty of caffeine.
Just what I need after polishing off a pot of the crap that Bunn spits out every morning.
Posted by: Venomous Kate at January 21, 2006 1:21 AMI'm with Hoosierboy. Real cowboys drink boiled coffee with the grounds still in it. You use your teeth to strain 'em out.
Posted by: Libby at January 21, 2006 11:05 AMFucking yuppies
Posted by: Catfish at January 21, 2006 3:05 PMIf you're gonna drink coffee, Hoosierboy and Libby are right...
Boil the shit. Drink the coffee, and chew the dregs...
Posted by: That 1 Guy at January 21, 2006 4:14 PMGet a big straw and a colander and a pan with water in it. Put some paper towel in the colander over the water-filled pan. Put coffee in paper towel. Turn stove (stiven/stave/stove/stake shoved into ventricle) on and as water heats, blow it up through the colander. You will hear a nice perky percolating sound and the brown goop will filter nicely into the water below and you'll have percolated joe.
Really. Trust me.
Man, I ain't got time to worry about all the "where's and how's". Shit dude. I drive with one eye open to the gas station, get out of the truck, chuck my .89 at the lady, before I pour, and when I leave, the say have a nice day. Coffee. It's coffee. Yeah, my last 20 posts sucked, so feel vindicated...
I forgot... You rule.
I am a fairly new reader, but often I am merely a lurker because I don't understand what the hell you all are talking about. See your two posts above this one. Maybe put out a Velociworld secret decoder ring?
Posted by: Skwerly at January 23, 2006 4:19 PMIt happened at Christmas. My back was broke.
Wife got me a French Press - don't imagine I'd ever go back.
but I certainly understand the percolated thing. Used to use one, but the creamy smoothness of the french press is to die for. Heck, you could probably make a cowboy friendly version too - just ditch the glass for a similarly sized piece of cast iron. Boil water, drop coffee in, press.
Posted by: countertop at January 23, 2006 4:39 PMHmmm...you're cranky. Maybe you need MORE coffee...or fiber...
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Posted by: eman at August 18, 2006 5:34 AM