January 13, 2006
DEAD LANGUAGES
As a person who speaks only Geechee-besplattered English, I am envious of the multilingual. I know some French, because, believe it or not, that was once upona a language reknowned for its seductive, sexy nature. Women don't find Cowardice sexy these days, however, and so I use the French words as more of an exercise in tomfoolery.
I bemoan dead languages, however. Like Latin, which certain freaks still speak, but only to themselves in the mirror, when they are ordaining themselves in the High Church of the Holy Bishopflog.
As an efficient conservative I should laud the conversion of the planet to English as a universal communication. Latin had its day, French had its. Now is the day of English. Makes the world go round. Except for America, of course. We have to put Spanish on every sign and banner and bin in the Home Depot lest a guest worker not be able to find a fucking hammer! (Martillo!)
Eh, but English is a screwed up language. Too damned many homonyms, and homophones, and don't get me started on the homophobes. It's a bizarre stew of syntax exceptions, spelling pass-me-bys, and words that are often antonym to they own selves.
I ramble. I abhor the fact people do not speak Latin, or Aramaic, or Sanskrit anymore. I'm glad scholars and linguists go to the effort of recording and glossarizing endangered languages for posterity. If, for no other reason, to be able to tell the aboriginals who speak it "This, my faithful chaffeur, is why your people do not Rule The Fucking Earth!" In a nice Geechee accent, of course.
Esperanto that's where it be.
With a geechee accent, of course.
I studied french, german, latin, greek (classical) and spanglish. I have picked up a few words in italian, japanese, russian, hungarian, polish.
None of it sticks. Oh, the greek is useful if you want to know the origin of windex, but otherwise, it's a waste of the highschoolers time. Just ask me. In whatever language you prefer. That five hours a week learning latin could have better been spent fishing.
Posted by: og at January 13, 2006 9:40 PMI prefer the universal sign language of the pointed pistol. Nothing says 'fuck off' better than a hint of copper jacket down a steady steel tunnel.
Posted by: Bane at January 13, 2006 9:49 PMOodgay ostpay.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at January 13, 2006 10:15 PMHmmm. How long will it take, I wonder, for the first smart-ass to make a comment about you being a "cunning linguist"?
Oh. Fuck.
Posted by: Elisson at January 13, 2006 10:25 PMI had an older couple come into my work one day -- the wife (a regular patient) had on a sweatshirt with a Latin quote and I looked at it and puzzled out something to the effect of 'If you can read this then you are over-educated.' She says, "Oh, very good." I say, "Well, yeah, I took 3 years of Latin in HS a zillion years ago. I can still manage to conjugate 'sum, est, sunt' and decline 'puer'. And check THIS out," I exclaim --"Armo virumque cano." Ain't I the shit?
All of a sudden, Mr. Weiss starts spouting off verse after verse of the Aeneid, in one of those beautifully rounded master-orator-type of voices -- I tell, you, it was one of the most amazing things I've ever heard. Useless or not, it was fucking beautiful! How many people do you suppose are still alive who can quote Virgil from memory?
Latin is NOT a dead language. I've heard that some older men still use it to pick up altar boys.
Posted by: Acidman at January 14, 2006 1:21 AM"Pig Latin" is the new Latin. Hate to tell ya that...
Posted by: agent bedhead at January 14, 2006 5:16 AMYep. English is the language of the world today and one of these days if I have the time I may try to learn it. But for now I'll just stick to this good ole American redneck talk.
Posted by: GUYK at January 14, 2006 9:04 AMHave you watched any 'Dora the Explorer' tapes lately?? Dora is teaching all our babies how to speak Spanish and English. *see how far my life has slid down the toilet??*
Posted by: Michele at January 14, 2006 12:45 PMWE DID IT WE DID IT YEAH!!! LA HACIMOS WE DID IT!!!
Posted by: agent bedhead at January 14, 2006 2:32 PM... look, I don't care what you say... random Japanese is still the way to best get your point across.. it's gibberishly confusing and agressive... what more could you want in a language?...
... shit, all you have to do is shout a few times and then pull your pistols...
... THAT, my friend, is communication..
Posted by: Eric at January 14, 2006 7:00 PMI before E except after C, and when sounding like A, as in "neighbor" and "weigh," and on weekends and holidays, and all through out May, and you'll always be wrong no matter what you say!
Posted by: Skwerly76 at January 16, 2006 2:01 AMOMNIA MIHI LINGVA GRAECA SVNT!
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Posted by: Ed at November 14, 2006 4:46 AM