Velociworld

VELOCINECROPOLIS

What the hell is a necropolis, anyway? I mean, I understand they are ancient burial sites, like cemeteries, only bigger, I think. Like city-sized, maybe. Cities of the Dead, literally. Thebes had what was apparently a spectacular necropolis in ancient Egypt.

But the question is: could one make one? The reason I ask is because I have become right testy in my advancing years. People who merely pissed me off in the past now downright infuriate me. I wouldn't mind whacking a few, to be honest with you. That way they never piss you off again. I figure I could buy, say, 15 acres down around Spuds, Florida, cheap, and create my very own necropolis. I'd even be nice enough to give them headstones and such. Not with their real names, but nicknames, like Wanker Willie and Cutmeoffintraffic!

Of course I would never do this. I firmly foreswear murder in any way shape or form. Still, an intriguing concept. But here is why I know I could never harm another human being: Ever have one of those dreams where you killed someone? Maybe they were attacking you, or something, and it all seemed very reasonable at the time, until John Law showed up? Then your reasons seemed a bit spurious? Questionable, even? And so you're shitting your pantaloons trying to convince the man it was jus-jus-justifiable homicide, or se-se-self-defense?

I hate those dreams. Not because they didn't deserve it, but because even in a drug-addled sleep torpor life imprisonment is not appealing in the least. Caged and raped is no way to go through life.

I'm still intrigued by the necropolis idea, though. Maybe I could buy the land, and when the Great Spirit takes these screwheads on his own timetable I could secretly exhume them, and re-inter them in the Velocinecropolis. I could buy a woodburning kit and make a sign by the front gates: Hear Lye Mine Inimies!

I think I would like that.