November 10, 2005
QUALITY CONTROL
Back in Old Testament days, also known as the Age of Vinyl, my college brethren and I would take turns buying a record album, and then letting our bros tape it upon our relatively magnificent cassette machines, as stereophonic systems were a pretty good proxy for cocksmanship back then, actual sex being in rather short supply. One knew immediately where one stood in a friend's pecking order by the generation of your recording. Meaning, if you bought the vinyl, you recorded it to cassette first for yourself: the first generation. Your best friend got sloppy seconds, and on down the line, vinyl wearing out, clarity diminishing, all that sort of thing. So you knew if a friend let you record on, like, the sixth generation, you weren't really tight with him, and could piss upon him should he ever be passed out, with no great repercussions. At least as far as you were concerned.
I bring this up because my elder daughter asked if she could download a spurious file sharing program again. Now, we've had this discussion ad nauseum in the past. The last shit she downloaded so infected my hard drive with malware my diagnostics looked like Magic Johnson's blood test results. That tower is now a plant stand.
Kids don't get it. I informed her No Fucking Way!, but in the kindly, father-daughter, PG version. She has a job. Go Itunes. Go mainstream. Hell, go to Wal Mart. Pay yer friggin freight.
My point? Am I a hypocrite, because I engaged in a more primitive version of pirating as a youth? Maybe. But I think not, and here's why:
When I, or my friends, bought that vinyl, we also had the opportunity to buy an official, record label cassette at the same time. The problem was, the quality of an MCA, or RCA, or Capitol, or whomever cassette was so fucking poor it was absolutely disgraceful. Just sorry, sorry shit. Wouldn't floss my asscrack with that tape.
But one could buy a blank Maxell, or Memorex, or Sony, or whatever brand cassette of excellent quality, and record off a pretty basic stereo system, and have a very fine recording. Far superior to the shit the Labels were attempting to foist upon us. Espcially once the metal and chromium dioxide tapes came out. We were little fucking engineers, recording with great care, and producing some nice stuff. And getting fucked if we bought a cassette retail.
So, no. We weren't pirates. We were overcomers. Achievers. The Labels were the fucking pirates, foisting miserable quality shit upon us. Could've bought a better quality tape of To the Hilt in a damned chicken stall in Shanghai than what Electra was peddling.
Those miserable greedy cocksuckers.
That is all.
Um, V-man? I gots one that installs no malware/shareware/spyware/assware. gimme an email and I'll hook you up.
Posted by: Cythen at November 10, 2005 10:40 PMI recall when, at 15, my mom sent me to Montgomery Ward to buy the eight-track of Bob Seger's 'Against the Wind'.
I also recall how bent she got when she played it the first time, and 'Her Strut' was divided up amongst two different tracks... so, there was this big "ka-klunk!" right in the middle.
Geez! Was she ever pissed!
Of course, now...knowing that he wrote the song as a tribute to Jane Fonda's "courage", I would probably get a big kick out of hearing it again.
Ka Klunk!
Posted by: jmflynny at November 10, 2005 11:13 PMOh, and by the way...my first attempt at commenting was denied...ya know, with 'm_ember' being a forbidden word.
Of course, I didn't type m_ember,
I typed rem_ember.
"Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of heaven, justify it in the end."
Ok, maybe hate part is a little strong, but you got the justification part nailed.
Posted by: steelheader at November 11, 2005 9:07 AMBy George, I still have a pile of old cassette tapes - most of 'em thirty years old or more, now - that I taped off of my Humongous Collection o' Vinyl. Main reason was so I could listen to my music in the car, back in the days before CD's were a gleam in the Techno-Nerds' eyes.
Heh. Used to carpool with a bunch of Fellow Engineers from Houston to Baytown, Texas back in the mid-1970's, a 70-mile round trip. When it was my turn to drive, I'd be playing Miles Davis. One guy - an older gentleman - used to say it "sounded like cats yowling."
Sweeeet.
Seems to me you're not so much against the actual piracy as against having your machine infected with digital VD.
Not seeing any hypocrisy there...
Posted by: Graumagus at November 11, 2005 2:40 PMActually, both. I'm against piracy per se, but if someone will only offer me a shitty product, well, fuck 'em.
Posted by: Velociman at November 11, 2005 2:58 PMyou probably missed the REAL days of taping LPs. That was when we used reel to reel recording and got very little distortion. I still have some music taped from the sixties on reel to reel and once in while dig it out and hook it up. Awesome sound compared to any of the cassettes but of course compac disc and DVD beat it all to hell.
Posted by: GUYK at November 11, 2005 4:32 PMGUYK, you mean the days of Crown, Revox, and Ampex reel-to-reels? Now THAT was quality piracy.
Posted by: Velociman at November 11, 2005 6:02 PMAbsolutely -- once I spent anywhere from $2.50 to $5.00 on an LP I figured it was my right to tape it as many times as I liked for my own (or my friends) listening pleasure. I owned the damn thing free & clear. Had that same less-than-PC chat with my daughter innumerable times -- get that f-ing KaZaa shit off MY computer. What part of I don't want the virii OR the arrest for copyright infringement or whatever the hell they were barking about do you NOT understand? Go buy your own freaking computer -- couple of $200.00 hair highlighting expeditions oughta cover it nicely. Arrrgggh.
And weren't reel-to-reel just the best? 'Uncle John's Band' has never sounded the same as it did in my buddy Norm's dorm room on his big-ass Akai system (of course the wine-cooled bhong made out of a 5 gallon Sparkletts bottle didn't do a thing to enhance the sound...)