Velociworld: WHEN THE MONKEY GROPES

October 31, 2005

WHEN THE MONKEY GROPES

It is a fiction, a mirage, that I control all of my monkeys. The cymbal bangers, the skirt lifters, the jackers off, the jeep-jeep-jeepers.

Fact is, those monkeys own me. The difference, the tipping point, is that I am a sentient being. I've compared the SATs, the GMATs, the LSATs. Kicked my monkeys' asses, I did. That nominally puts me in control.

I loves my fucking monkeys, but I am going on Safari. There is not room on Planet Velociworld for multiple primates. Usefulness is a qualitative term, and it will be a rather sad day when I pop a round in one of my monkeys, but Jumping Jesus. They are so damned fecund. Look: here comes another one:

Vexing, I say.

Posted by Velociman at October 31, 2005 10:02 PM

Comments

Lovely. Princess Tallulah Fuckmonkey, I believe.

Posted by: Elisson at October 31, 2005 10:49 PM

You are a fucking Monkey...let's cut to the chase.

Bwahahahahah!!!

Posted by: Yabu at November 1, 2005 12:14 AM

You supply the monkeys, I'll bring the ammo. We'll put my new HK through its paces.

Posted by: zonker at November 1, 2005 12:27 AM

.. Zonker's HK is sweet... I'd take him up on the offer...

Posted by: Eric at November 1, 2005 9:47 AM

GEEZ! that thing is disturbing...I mean I've gotten used to the mutant--kinda tune out that corner of the page--but then this monkey...

Posted by: Desert Cat at November 1, 2005 10:25 AM

It's a metaphor, people! He's calling you monkeys!

Not me, of course.

Posted by: Bane at November 1, 2005 6:32 PM

.. if that's the case then, Bane.. forget Zonker's idea... most of us will shoot back...

Posted by: Eric at November 1, 2005 7:53 PM

Metaphor, eh? Huh. In that case, I think VMan tried popping a round in Sam's ass while in Helen this past October. Fortunately, Sam dodged in time to protect his X-ring.

Posted by: zonker at November 2, 2005 8:46 AM

That. Is. A. Creepy. Monkey. *shudder*

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