October 16, 2005
STORKS
I have 3 woodstorks that habituate the lake. How can a creature be so damned ungainly on terra firma, and yet so magnificent in flight? They resemble Alice the Goon from Popeye while walking, and yet are incredibly beautiful and graceful on the wing.
Perhaps an autopsy would reveal the secret. I keep throwing my kitten at them, attempting a clean take-down, but the little rascal appears to be afraid of them. Might be the fact she is way out of her weight class.
i suggest a slingshot
Posted by: shoe at October 16, 2005 6:28 PMTrebuchet. Those fuckers will snatch up a little dog and run off with it.
Posted by: og at October 16, 2005 6:34 PMI don't know, but I've been told, eskimo pu.. uh, wait I mean to say I don't know but I've been told I look better flyin' out of a bar, then I do walkin' out of it. Know what I mean? Does that make me a stork?
Posted by: RedNeck at October 16, 2005 7:05 PMI startled a blue heron one fine summer morn at my favorite fishing hole. It sounded and looked like a friggin pteradactyl when it took off...causing me to drop the gear and run. The thought crossed my mind to sacrifice one of my own offspring...they were just too damn fast.
Posted by: Chablis at October 16, 2005 8:45 PMI head-on'd a damnt pelican one time, whilst driving in the SF Bay area. Fucker center-punched my radiator with its vast beak, and stopped me cold.
I got out after popping the hood, and was greeted with the sight of a thing that looked somewhat like a boiled Gremlin, with that damn beak rammed all the way through and jammed into the belt system of my alternator.
Posted by: Bane at October 16, 2005 10:04 PMDoes this mean you are a member of Woodstork Nation?
Posted by: Elisson at October 17, 2005 10:00 AM"I keep throwing my kitten at them..."
If I had a buck for each time I've said that...
Are you implying that, erm, you throw your pussy around?
Posted by: Bane at October 18, 2005 6:57 PM...for pay?
Posted by: Bane at October 18, 2005 6:57 PMThe Sandhills avoided my son. He did try to go with them, but it just didn't work.
Posted by: vw bug at October 18, 2005 7:27 PMAlice the Goon?
A living creature besides me remembers Alice the Goon?
Bwuuuahaha....
Bitch terrified me as a child. Many a night I waited for her to crack open my door and come for me....
Frickin' Popeye cartoons.....
They ought to ban them and... oh.
They did.
At least, today's youth don't see them.