Velociworld: COMPLICATIONS

September 28, 2005

COMPLICATIONS

When I was a youngster I traveled light. I can remember hitchhiking to New Orleans on Highway 90 as a teenager, with nought but a toothbrush in my back pocket. I would crack a Budweiser, sling the other five beers through my belt, and stick out my thumb.

"I'm Basic Bob," I would tell my traveling companion. "All else will fall into place."

I was thinking of that as I was packing for Helen tonight. Bullwhip, Artillery Punch, half rubber gear, pimp hat, straw hat, rasta cap, doo rag, Lone Ranger mask, cymbal-bashing monkey... Christalmighty. I need props to go to a damned blogmeet. What the fuck happened to Basic Bob?

Screw it. I'm packing the Speedos and the pimp hat in case I get an invite to the hot tub, the likka, and everything else can just kiss my ass.

Posted by Velociman at September 28, 2005 9:12 PM

Comments

I'm thinking the hat needs to be passed around to gather up a large enough kitty that someone at Helen will be motivated to imbibe enough Artillery punch to acquire the Lone Ranger mask, the bullwhip and the rasta cap and do their best impersonation of a Mapplethorpe photo.

Hell, I'm good for $20 towards that goal. Nothing like abject humiliation to turbocharge the post-party guilt pangs.

Posted by: El Capitan at September 28, 2005 9:34 PM

Shit! That reminds me, El Capitan. Astroglide...

Posted by: Velociman at September 28, 2005 9:41 PM

Bullwhip? I didn't know Georgia was coming. See ya on Friday!

Posted by: Denny at September 28, 2005 9:50 PM

OHHHH I wanna see a pic of you in a speedo!

Posted by: livey at September 28, 2005 10:41 PM

I got me some really awesome pics of Key painting that monkey's toes so you best bring him. He's one of us. Or maybe the other way around. I'm never sure.

Posted by: zonker at September 28, 2005 11:34 PM

Oh, the monkey is coming. Or, rather, he's allowing me to come. He is the Master, only he can't drive. Fucking species-discriminators at the DMV.

Posted by: Velociman at September 28, 2005 11:52 PM

Pictures! We demand pictures! Hell, we're still waiting on the seersucker suit pictures!

Posted by: Candy at September 29, 2005 12:16 AM

I'm simply entranced by the image of V in The Hat, Lone Ranger's mask,wielding a bullwhip ... but I'm thinking some spurs are in order.

Nice shiny spurs. Hardwood floors be damned.

Posted by: Trish at September 29, 2005 1:19 PM