September 20, 2005
SKILL SETS
My girls have no domestic skill sets. They can't cook, sew, wash clothes without destroying them, pick up after themselves, dig a latrine.
The Bride has never bothered to teach them any of these things.
Okay, I'm jesting about the latrine, but it isn't a bad skill to have.
And so I have determined to take the bull by the horns, and teach these girls some, ah, home economics. Which is a bullshit term, of course. I call them survival skills.
I can cook. Quite well, in fact. I can sew. Darn, mend. I've been washing my own clothes since I was 15, because no one fucks with my Levis.
I dunno. I've had my mother's 1963 Singer for 6 years, residing in its mahogany cabinet, since her passing. My eldest sister coveted it, because she, and my mom, and her daughter, had spent 40 years collectively bonding with that machine. Butterick and Simplicity patterns, all hell's simple shifts and dresses.
While I was hallooing like an Injun around the yard they were crafting clothes, and learning valuable lessons about mother-daughter relationships, and how these things are developed. One damned shift at a time.
But I wanted the sewing machine, because I thought it would be a great opportunity to witness the bonding thing. I've never been able to get any of my crew to touch it, though, and so I will take it to my sister this Thanksgiving, in lieu of a bird.
My littler one is interested in sewing, but she wants the $5,000 computerized model. Shit. Trial and error is not in this generation's vocabulary. Nor is deftness, skill, art.
Survival skills. If you can push a needle through fabric you can push it through flesh, suture a wound. If you can cook you can scrounge a meal. Don't get me started if you can't keep your damned underdrawers clean.
I don't see any evidence of domestic skills around the Hovel. Quite sad.
I suppose I'll have to take matters into my own hands. But don't expect me to do any smocking. Even a metro like me has to draw the fucking line somewhere.
Send 'em up here, one at a time, for a couple weeks each. I'll larn 'em, I garontee.
Posted by: kelley at September 20, 2005 10:52 PMDo I sense a theme here? First Karl Lagerfeld, now Butterick and Simplicity. Is Velociman a clothing designer who can't quite get out of the closet??
Posted by: Dogsdontpurr at September 20, 2005 10:53 PMLet's just say I'm secure in my masculinity.
Posted by: Velociman at September 20, 2005 10:57 PMAnyone who can cook or sew can find employment and won't have to depend on a man. Many men, it turns out, can be quite undependable.
Posted by: Uncle Roy at September 20, 2005 11:07 PMSo you're saying you'd make the perfect housewife, in a deliverance sort of way. 'cause ya sore do gots a purdy mouth.
As a side note, my parents thought it essential that I learn to cook, kill a man with my bare hands, clean, sew and dig a latrine. It's a damn good thing 'cause when I married the missus she didn't cook, she weren't real sure 'bout the washin' machine and she damned sure couldn't sew.
Let's just say the past several years of training have been a bit rough on the both of us.
Posted by: phin at September 20, 2005 11:09 PM"I can cook. Quite well, in fact. I can sew. Darn, mend. I've been washing my own clothes since I was 15, because no one fucks with my Levis."
Metrosexual.
Posted by: Sadie at September 21, 2005 4:52 AM"because no one fucks with my Levis."
Amen to that! Have had to have the same lesson around my house lately too...only I have boys instead of girls. Good luck with that!
Posted by: Kelly at September 21, 2005 6:12 AMDefinitely they need to learn how to cook, clean clothes and sew... I can't sew on a sewing machine worth a darn, but I can put a button on a shirt or hem some slacks. Those are the skills I needed to live on my own.. .cook, clean clothes and sew. I will be teaching this to my boys. And my husband is likely to help. He can do those three things pretty well and I'm sure he would want them to be 'independent' as well.
Posted by: vw bug at September 21, 2005 7:55 AMNot unique my good man. My brother had to teach is oldest how to wash clothes and be able to wear them again and a few other basic skills of life when she went off to college last year. His first wife was just as clueless and passed her inability to do anything down to the daughters. This summer I made a special attempt to get my sons into some things. We broke down the bikes, piece by piece, cleaned, oiled and rebuilt. They wash the dishes every other night and we'll start on the laundry soon. My issue is that I only have them for limited amounts of time so I need to mix these lessons in with other less bothersome activities. I still consider it quality time however, even if they don't. This fall.....grilling and the smoker. It's why we have one Y and not two X's.
Posted by: Dishonorable Schoolboy at September 21, 2005 2:16 PMI guess I picked right- my hubby can cook, sew, do laundry. Hell, he can even run an embroidery machine. He knows cars. He's a computer whiz. He has a hell of an eye for interior design. Metrosexual, he is not, thank the gods. I also cook, bake, garden, and craft. Man, our future kids will be chock full o'skillz. It's pretty sad how so many kids today are growing up not learning how to cook anything that doesn't come in a box.
Posted by: Skwerly at September 21, 2005 2:18 PMCan't say enough about knowing how to cook, sew, clean a bathroom, and let's not forget simple plumbing and changing a tire.
Both of my brothers sew--otherwise they'd have to PAY someone to fix their camping and climbing equipment.
Posted by: Rugged Individualist at September 21, 2005 4:14 PMHubby fixes the cars, I fire up the charcoal grill. I am the queen of the barbeque and have almost banned him from the kitchen altogether, even though he wants to cook. After he put garlic in the French Toast, well...no. Not.
Thankfully, my son is a chef at a chi-chi restaurant in downtown Jax. (I get good food on my birthday, at least.) Plus he can iron a mean crease,(ROTC training)sew his own buttons, do his own laundry...as well as being an excellent artist, database programmer, and mechanic.
He's available, btw....
:P
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