September 5, 2005

THE LAST MAN ON EARTH

Ever seen that movie? Vincent Price is the last man living who hasn't morphed into a vampire/zombie. He spends his days roving the city in a station wagon, pulling vampires from darkened cellars, driving stakes through their hearts, then burning them in a giant pit. At night they beat on his door, and throw whisky bottles at it, because they know him, you see. They want to punk his ass. Just the sort of film my mother would take me to see at the drive-in at the tender age of six.

And you wonder why my worldview is so scarred? I AM A VICTIM!

At any rate, that's how I see New Orleans for the next year. The fucking zombies are there, the wasteland is defined. Bit by bit, neighborhood by neighborhood, it will be reclaimed.

I envision Hell, though. A bloody war. Ain't gonna be pretty. The drifters will return first, the dispossessed. Rebuilding houses will be almost impossible because of theft, and vandalism. A corrupt state will have no merciful response. They are mired in their own stasis.

I'll go back next July, though. I'll swig whisky in those sullied streets, bare my sorry nipples for beads, throw my puny largesse about.

Who's with me?

Posted by Velociman at September 5, 2005 6:49 PM
Comments

I'll meet you there. I've swigged with the riff-raff before. Many a time.

Posted by: Yabu at September 5, 2005 7:26 PM

.. I got your back, man... Nawlins recognizes my concealed carry permit...

Posted by: Eric at September 5, 2005 9:03 PM

I'm there dude. Just don't sic the drunk vagrant on me next year. Aw shit! He's probably dead.

Posted by: Denny at September 5, 2005 9:19 PM

I'll be there. I won't be baring any sorry nipples, but I'll be throwing my puny largesse around with the best of 'em...the Gulf states are going to be getting every tourism dollar I spend, for a long time. I gar-on-tee.

Posted by: kelley at September 5, 2005 9:38 PM

Is okay, Kelley. My sorry nipples will fill the void. Denny? I'm pretty sure that fucker drownded. Life is tough.

Posted by: Velociman at September 5, 2005 9:49 PM

Like Heston in "omega man". Nice big convertible, sten guns, diesel generator.

Posted by: og at September 5, 2005 10:36 PM

I'll be there.

With full body armor.

Posted by: rightisright at September 6, 2005 12:19 AM

I'll go. Hell, the zombies can beat their knuckles raw on my door....I'll just sleep through it.

Posted by: zonker at September 6, 2005 1:47 AM

In July of next year, I shall be nursing a five month-old infant (God willing) - so I wouldn't just be flashing gratiuitous nipplage, it would be for the nourishment and growth of my child!

Heyyyy....

I never got to see the post-Katrina Nawlins. For that, I am eternally sad. But maybe I can win lotto between now and then and finally join you in your decadence! ??

Yeah. *snort* When pigs fly, I'm thinking. But it was a nice dream.

Posted by: Margi at September 6, 2005 2:10 AM

Erm. . .damn baby is eating my brain. That should be "pre-Katrina Nawlins." Sheesh.

Posted by: Margi at September 6, 2005 2:11 AM

Before they start rebuilding they need to put in a whole lot of landfill. Build up the ground level. Invite the whole country to come down there with barge loads of trash. Aren't we supposed to be short of places to put it? Not now. Let NO be the national dump for a few months, then add topsoil.

Posted by: Nancy B. at September 6, 2005 8:28 PM

I'll watch y'all on the telly, sluggin' back a Perrier.

Posted by: WitNit at September 6, 2005 8:48 PM

I've played on a golf course the likes of which was made from the way Nancy B describes it. A trash dump comvered in mud with a shitload of weeds on top. Ironicallly called "Phoenix"... Maybe it was a deliberate name. I'm a 'Neck. What do I care, except for the spongy steppin' in the fairway. Not my fairway necessarily... I saw NO "pre" Kat, not boobie problems here, and I thought at the time, as I was changin' out of the mornin' soaked by sweat clothes in the soon to be afternoon soaked by sweat clothes, This is a helluva place to visit, but I couldn't live here. If I did, I'd be the dude Denny and Vman are yackin' 'bout. My bet is hey get Biloxi back 'fore NO. Not the exact same I know, but lawdy, I imagine there's 'bout the same amount of trouble to get into, and besides, we might get bitterman to show us where he learned to ride a motorcycle.

That storm sucked man. Tore shit up wrong. It went through the gulf coast like a mutant on meth...

Lord help 'em all, each and every one.

Posted by: RedNeck at September 6, 2005 10:17 PM

Just damn. You're flashing and Kelly isn't. I think I'll cancel my plans to bring beads to Helen.

Rick

Posted by: recondo32 at September 7, 2005 12:58 AM

The drifters, riff raff and poor people will be the LAST to return to New Orleans, approximately 10 years from now. Over the next few years, the economy of the region will slowly begin to build again, based around the port and the oil industry. WORKING people, not bums. There is no place for the bums to live.
New Orleans over the next decade will have no poor people at all. But it won't stay that way. It never does. The leeches on society, the non-contributors, will have no place until the liberal largesse is sufficient to build them all single family homes nicer than mine. For the time being, they will simply have to live on cruise ships.

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