September 3, 2005
SATURDAY
And so I was chased off the beach today when Zeus started hurling thunderbolts at me, obviously pissed that I had mocked him for having to resort to taking women under the guise of swans, and barnyard animals (and what self-respecting woman takes a swan cock?).
Upon reconnoitering the Velocihovel I discovered some powder someone gave me recently, I know not why. I believe it was morphine. It certainly tasted like morphine. It was obviously not injectable quality, and I'm not about the spike anyhow, you know, so I snorted half, and smoked half.
Then I sprawled on a lounge chair by the pool and listened to Scar Tissue by the Chili Peppers. And I thought to myself, VMan, you bitch a lot, but life is actually pretty good.
When all was said and done I was still standing, though, and The Bride captured the moment for posterity, albeit poorly:
Don't you wish you were me? Sure you do.
You hinky savage, you. Jealous!
Posted by: kelley at September 3, 2005 4:18 PMYou rock, V-Man!
Posted by: sadie at September 3, 2005 4:37 PMI'd wish I wuz you, but I got a large container of rum, some wings and ribs marinating, a beautiful view of the marsh, a smart dog, and a handy man.
Top that with a gentle, misty coolness rolling in from the Atlantic and it don't get much better.
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at September 3, 2005 6:54 PMI got yer "Scar Tissue" right here pal!
Posted by: Bullseye at September 3, 2005 8:47 PMThe hat looks familiar.
Posted by: Dash at September 4, 2005 12:09 AMSomeone pissed in your gene pool too? Lay off the meth. I would also recommend a high fiber diet. Might wanna work on the skanky old man feet as well. Not a bigger turn off than splitting toenails.
Posted by: bitterman at September 4, 2005 1:09 AMTo answer your question, "Don't you wish you were me?"
No.
Posted by: BeeBee at September 4, 2005 9:36 AMLooks pretty happy for a guy with a humongous Taint Warhead. I notice that the stance has the legs somewhat apart from one another.
Posted by: Elisson at September 4, 2005 10:27 AMYeah how's the warhead? did ya pop it? give us the gorey details man!
Posted by: livey at September 4, 2005 10:44 AM